to you.

dearest you know who,

Somedays I sit around thinking. if only you'd tell me your problems, and let me be there for you for once. sometimes i wish you'd let me be the one to listen. i really hope you do read this. Though the chances are slim, i really do hope you do, i would love to sit and listen to you. Listen to every single thing that has been going on in your mind, heart and soul. sometimes i wish you'd take me into a deeper conversation, because it hurts me a lot to see you this way. you're not the same person i knew, you're just laughing things off and smiling but you know deep down inside you're still hurting maybe i am wrong, but something inside of me is telling me to reach out to you. Reach out. I know you're strong but i want to be there for you even though if you're not needing me now.

Ya Allah tabahkanlah hati hambaMu ini dan juga hatinya.

~sabiruna

who am i?

in the constant quest of getting to know myself better i tool this personality quiz.

here's the url; http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

DONT SPEAK

firstly i'd like to say that im fucking confuse with every single thing,
thing is you told me to forget him,
and you refer to him as my boyfriend and then you go tell your friend i've got a boyfriend,
when YOU in the first place STOPPED our relationship.

so just STOP talking about him,
you're making things worst,
what do you know,
you dont know that he has a new gf,
the fact that he ignores me,
left me hanging here.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
and why am i foolish enough,
not disclosing the truth to you,
that he has a new gf,
cause i know it wont make the situation better,
you'd just find all kinds of things to comment.

SO JUST STOP!
cause you're not making things easier and he is not my bf,
CAUSE YOU DIDNT WANT HIM TO BE.

and you,
you should know better,
i guess its all a huge misunderstanding,
my parents never forbade us from meeting,
from going out,
all they forbade was a relationship.
that's all,
and who said that i wanted to end it all,

you said nothing and you just left.

and for me ive got nothing else to say im just stuck.

Always For You

You were drowning
and I picked you up and set you free
I was fading
and you breathed the life back into me
can I be sure this is what I've been looking for

'cause I'm dying to meet you
and I'm trying to reach you
as of yet we've not met
but I'm here waiting always for you

you were trembling
and I held your hand so close to me
and I was crying
and you whispered that you'd rescued me
I planned a day when I see you come my way

'cause I'm dying to meet you
and I'm trying to reach you
as of yet we've not met
but I'm here waiting always for you

I can't wait to sleep so I can always see your face
and I hate to wake up 'cause you're gone without a trace

can I be sure this is what I've been looking for

'cause I'm dying to meet you
and I'm trying to reach you
as of yet we've not met
but I'm here waiting always

yeah I'm dying to meet you
and I'm trying to reach you
as of yet we've not met
but I'm here waiting always for you

focus!

1. get a job.
2. hardcore during muay thai trainings.
3. prove to yourself you're stronger then you think you are.

Last

I solemly swear i will stick to my goals from now on,
no more straying from them.
I SWEAR!!!!

COME ON SABI FOCUS!!!!

Love is a losing game.

For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game

One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand
Love is a losing hand

Self professed... profound
Till the chips were down
...know you're a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Though I'm rather blind
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

The Hopeless Romantic

She stays awake every night,
how silly of her as she sits in front of the laptop,
crying her eyes out every single night,
she moves on but the hurt still stays,
she knows it's not healthy,
but she's just a hopeless romantic.

Love; so sacred in her eyes,
she loves him dearly,
so much it drives her crazy, mad and selfish.
she tries to smile and carry on,
she does,
but when the night falls,
when all is silent and dark,
when others lay to rest,
she stays awake,
again weak and crying.

no use crying over split milk,
yet she cries.
cries.
and cries.

there will be no cure,
no cure for this hurt,
for she knows she will never forget him.
never.
and she sits still in the midst of her prayers.
breaking down every now and then.

for she is a hopeless romantic, for love is sacred for her.

neither here nor there

im like a broken-stringed kite
floating aimlessly in the wind,
im a fleeting form of emotions
for i know i'd never touch solid ground.

i long for that one moment,
where my owner would pull back on my string,
nail me to the ground,
where i soar and fly,
safe and protected.

now im out,
for the adventure of my life,
aimless,
yet somehow deep down im yearning,
for those goals,
for that hand.

I'm soaring,
free and independent,
out to face the cold harsh world,
one cold night i was hit by a storm,
the wind merciless,
leaving me cold and wet; the rain.

then i bumped into all types of kites,
they had lost their owners too,
and each and every one of them had a tale to tell.

a tale sadder then mine,
a tale of difficulties, embarrassment, rejection, failure.
every kite had a tale to tell.

so i sat and listen,
deep in thoughts,
yet i pushed my tales aside,
eager to listen and sympathize.

then i went away with the wind again,
alone.
solitary, my best companion.

for in these solitary moments,
my thoughts are my entertainment.
im learning and adapting to this solitary life.

this kite will keep on soaring in this sky,
till one day either it breaks or it's owner pulls back on it's string.

smile.

i just realised that i get a lot of ideas when im on the mrt train.
was on the way to bukit batok today and i had my draft one with me.
it's grade B+.
I WANT MY A!!
so i read the comments,
and presto i was re-editing everything,
the ideas just flowed in!
i officially love MRT trips well only when it is less crowded,
cause honestly i hate it when I've got to squeeze and parts and bits of me
which unfortunately aren't the smallest things in the world,
bumping into elbows!
irritating that's why i love backpacks and a laptop bag.
my front and back MRT armour(:
ouh and i always imagine being the so called "hero",
each seat i sit on,
im actually like reserving for those who need it,
cause you betcha if i see someone who needs to sit,
i'd give it to them,
no hesitation(:

today has been an okay day.
wasn't bad though.
went out and home.
and mami called asking whether i wanted to follow her to the masjid to pray isyak'
and i went YES SIREE!

wowwee it's been a long time since ive set foot in this masjid,
it was nice.
there were two lil girls in silat gear,
haha then when we had to "rapatkan saf"
i gently held her hand and brought her close to my side,
she looked at me(:
haha!
real cute la the two of them.

then there was this lil girl she hid at the pillar and observed me(:
then when i looked at her she hid again.
just wanted to pinch her chubby whubby cheeks!
and tmr's menu will be sambal sardine spaghetti!
woots mami read my mind i guess(:

i can't wait for bulan ramadhan really can't(:

"this is my life and these are my choices"
-sabiruna

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ENCIK MUHAMMAD REDZUAN BIN ABDULAH!!

19 years old already aye!

may Allah bestow upon you health.
and may there be many more birthdays.
May you be blessed with a bright future and happiness,
where your days are filled with laughter and smiles.
Amin.

enjoy your teen year cause soon you're gonna be twenty GRUMPY OLD MAN!

"smile and carry on."
-sabiruna<3

One Fine Day

wow today has been some day.
Lighting is just CRAZY!
pity chris you lightman!
Muahhaha.

but im proud of W1B2.
looking forward to Monday(:
our shooting of our commercial(:
wink2.
it's gonna be awesome!
Yipee Ka Ya YAY!

and i actually liked the way our set looks like,
and the concept of it all!
YEAH W1B2!
WE CAN DO IT!
all the best aye directors and assistant directors(:

this feeling inside.

i don't know why,
but a certain calmness resided in me as i saw that smile on her face again.
She is the epitome of a housewife.
i admire her and i love her to the core.
She is BEAUTIFUL in every way!
never would i have met a stronger figure.

I see life in her,
and i learn from her.
i shan't forget today as she embraced me in the mini van,
then she kissed my cheeks and forehead.
i started to tear but i dare not cry in front of her.

her eyes were red too,
somehow i knew i wouldn't be seeing her for a long time now.
so it was our goodbye.

it was great to sit in that hall again,
this time with the awesome task of separating dried out beansprouts from their shells(:

I love just listening to her,
telling me stories of yesterdays,
and how lazy you've been lately..
to the fact that you left a lil sambal goreng in the pot cause you didnt want to wash it(:
and the littlest things she does makes me smile in every way,
i love to see her smile.

i laughed.
and how i adore your little brother.
haha!
he was like KAKAK!
*eyes wide open(:

it just hurt,
this silly feeling inside,
but i will call from time to time.
for i love her like my own mother.

"Belajar rajin-rajin Nana, jangan rindu-rindu cik"
-sabiruna

Ya Allah, bestow upon this lovely lady strength and health and always keep her in my heart and mind. one day with Your will Ya Allah, reunite us again.
amin.

Discreet and secret affairs behind opened doors.

a posted picture,
your lips on her cheeks.
can't explain this feeling,
a certain ache.

Say how's life there,
i heard she's beautiful,
the way she holds you in your arms tonight.
can't explain this feeling,
a certain ache.

Discreet and secret affairs,
behind opened doors.
oh how quickly was i replaced,
with her face..

working on the song.
working on it.

oh black day.

It is worth the effort.

sometimes life gets hard,
but what you gotta believe that it it was worth the effort.
i'm getting back this feeling,
where one gets sick in the gut,
a sort of nausea feeling.
and i don't like it at all.

But i'm still carrying on with life,
embracing life every way i can.
and this time im gonna make sure i succeed.
i don't wanna fail anymore.
yes sometimes we all have to fall to learn,
but ive had enough of falling(:

now im gonna set things right,
1. STOP PROCRASTINATING!
2. NO MORE BEING LATE FOR CLASSES.
3. REALLY PAY ATTENTION DURING LECTURE AND TAKE DOWN NOTES (which means i gotta get a notebook)

YES THAT'S FOR NOW.
STICK TO THIS 3!!!!

OR I SWEAR I WILL KICK MYSELF AND WHACK MYSELF TILL I KNOCK OUT!

puzzle pieces.

Angelina's Lips!

nicole's hair

Cameron Diaz's Abs.

beyonce's curves.

haha im bored,
so i thought i'd imagie how i'd picture a perfect me?
lol.
ok this is shallow,
but can't stop my imagination(:
but im more than happy just being me!
lol!

Sha Ke La KAH BABY!!

when boredom strikes, im my own entertainer.

haha okay don't blame me im super hyper today,
no idea why(:

eh HASSAN!
LOL.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!
may Allah Shower you with his love and yourself with good health.
may there be many more birthdays to come for you.

last night was a blast i tell ya!
super fun!

went out with familia to have dinner.
took 859 to Sembawang Shopping Center,
headed to DAISO!
I LOVE DAISO!!

hhaha mami got 2 hairbands for me we're sharing of course.
siblings got their watches.
PAPA he got nothing but we made him laugh taking the apek
shades and asking him to do a MJ move(:

haha walked around,
again i go to the house decor corner,
start imagining what my house would look like,
cause i want my house to have this balinese/japanese touch.
AWESOME-NESS AYE!

so headed to Fish n Chicks.
had dinner there.
Rizqina, Amelina AND Shermeina had Fish and Chips.
Rizkhan had Mee Goreng.
Mami and I had Beef Hor Fun.
Bibik cockle kway teow goreng,
and papa had a bit of everything(:
we'd share our food passing around.

AND I RECOMMEND THE PIZZA AT FISH N CHICKS.
TOTAL AWESOME.
the filling and the cheese wow wee!!

haha we were eating when the song we made you played and
my family was like,
"You're a ROCK STAR BABY!"
HAHA!

and the waiters started laughing and smiling.
had the nikon f55 with me so i took familia's pic(:

we added some fun to the restaurant(:
and plus point one of the waiter was kinda cute(:
LOL!

yeah so that was it.
know what it's silly that i dont feel so much of the hurt then.
for somehow ive got faith in what the future holds.

and i really enjoy spending time with my family.
we rarely go out,
due to certain constraints but when we do we really do enjoy ourselves(:

haha epic moment in mac whr we had our "dessert" last night,
papa said something about amelina's picture in mami's phone,
i heard him say your face like kerbau and i started laughing like hell.
but turned out he said the face like kuih pau.
my dad said you think i so bad arh call my own daughter kerbau.

then we all laughed again!
EPIC!

LOVE YOU FAMILIA!
MUACKS!

"sometimes you gotta lose to gain"
-sabiruna

THIS IS AWESOME-NESS!

Went to school today.

Supposed to meet Marky to get my dialogue assignment done but I was late.
Gaga.
Headed to the cage to get the Nikon F55,
It wasn’t approved,
Cause I don’t know how this happened but I had triple booked the camera,
With booking IDs form 2492,2493,2494.
Weird.
Luckily in the end I managed to get my hands on them.
Met Sakinah, Zoeann, Yan Qiu and CS.
Thank you Yan qiu for helping me out with the recording of the dialogue.
Really appreciated it,
Though I have to say that it was very lengthy.
Man gotta learn how to start writing short.
Then headed to Arab street.
Nice place but it lacked people,
Man see my photography assignment this time is People Photography.
It’s hard dealing with people you see,
Unlike nature and the rigid man-made structures,
We gotta ensure that we do not offend them.

So yeah,
After which headed to little India.
Met sakinah there and we did a shoot here and there(:
Ouh and yes,
When I went to arab street,
Nearby masjid sultan,
There was this elderly lady sitting all alone.
I sat beside her,
And she casually asked me what time it was and we started talking.
She was actually a beggar.
Her cataract filled eyes stared vacantly into mine.
I couldn’t take it.
How could one do this to an elderly woman?
So I sat and talked with her.
We conversed in malay of course.
She asked if I was from here( Singapore)
Asked her how was her day,
She asked me where I stayed,
She said she stays at beach road,
She walked all the way to Masjid Sultan.
She asked how many siblings I had,
What secondary level am I,
I smiled and said polytechnic,
She didn’t understand it so I smiled and said it’s a level higher than secondary school.
She nodded her head,
Then she asked me again what time it was,
Where I lived.
She repeated her questions.
I could do nothing but sympathise.
I felt so bad but I had no cash on me.
Then she saw people coming out from the Masjid,
She greeted them with an Assalamualaikum
Then she said some people are stingy,
Sometimes they give you 10cents, 20 cents,
When they have more but what can you do.
You just accept it.
Some just walk pass you not even noticing you.
i really broke down inside,
would this be me someday?
I’d swear I’ll never let my parents feel this way in old age.
Then I asked nenek can I take your picture?
She replied,
Why you want to take my picture, I am ugly.
I said no nenek you’re not ugly.
She said next time when she is dressed up.
Then I said I had to go as I was meeting Sakinah at Little India.
She said next time in my free time,
Do come down and see her.
I smiled and said InsyaAllah. (God Willing)
Salam her, I guess she was just taken a back by my gesture.
I smiled and walked,
Just then I turned my back and I saw her looking back.
Nenek, I’m sorry I was of no use,
How I wish I could just take your hand and bring you to a coffee shop nearby and treat you with a hearty meal,
Chat with you and see you smile.
It hurts to see you in a way,
But you’ve made me strong,
You made me realise that wherever you are or how hard life is,
You gotta carry on.
I will come back to see you nenek,
I will.
Then headed to Little India,
Snapped here and there and the people there are super friendly la,
They’re all smiles when they see you walking around armed with a camera.
And when I passed by Masjid Angulia,
I heard the AZAN,
The call to prayers for Asar.
It sounded so peaceful.
Yet somehow I felt as though I was far from that peace,
But I know it’s never too late,
16 more days to peace.
Walked from little India to town.
And now on my trip back home(:

Muay Thai tomorrow!
woohoo!

Yipee Ka Ya YAY!

“Alhamdulilaah, Ya Allah You have opened up my eyes today” -Sabiruna

Capoiera

I wanna take up Capoeira.
like seriously.

time to start raising the fund!

mr moon

MUAY THAI TRG TODAY ROCKED!!
loved it:)
haha i found out more about my bro amir,
wow dude gotta say im impress keep reaching for your goals ok!

completed campus run again:)
YIPEE KAY YA YAY!
17 MORE DAYS TO PEACE!

so did pad work and soon i'll be able to do a split:)
awesome!

sparred with Soon Lai today (I think it's spelt that way. sorry bro!)
haha was great sparring with a guy for my first time
and i made sure he hit me hard,
the was once i got kicked in the guts and i stopped breathing for a moment,
luckily Yuan Xi told me to breathe and jump around
and i'd jump right back in to fight:)

haha silat people at the bench,
i don't even know them were shouting,
"You GO GIRL!"
lol!

Thank you so much Soon Lai.
AWESOME sparring session,
hope to spar more with you in future aites.

and school starts at 2pm tmr.
COOLIOS!
this means..
*drumroll*
I CAN SLEEP!

YES SIREE!
happy like bird arh!

and the moon is out again,
love it the way it shines in the dark sky,
sometimes it just makes you wonder what really may lie on the other side.

"i'll just smile and walk with a melancholic breeze. It's just a phase of time i shall have to go through:)"
-sabiruna