So Far.

300809 (SUNDAY)
was pretty much a usual day;
and sadly i can't fast;
cause Mrs Red decided to pay me a visit in the most inconvenient time.
Boo you Mrs Red.
And I hate it,
cause as crazy as this may sound;
I can't live a day without my prayers.
I need to pray to stay sane!

Papa's off day;
Siblings and I were all at home slacking,
and papa said come on let's get ready;
We're breaking our fast at nenek's house today(:
and impromptu!
the house filled with loud YAYs!

So helped out with packing up of all the food,
and got ready;
On a yearly basis;
I only get to meet my nenek once every year.
So this was indeed a rare occasion for us.

We met mami at her work place in paya lebar;
and bused to eunos/ marine parade.
HEE!
and when we reached nenek's house she was so happy to see us(:
Even atuk (my step grandpa)
was really glad to see us.

And nenek asked how old I am,
and told my mum usually an 18 year old would have already been engaged.
LOL(:

after buka sat down,
and suddenly nenek ask whether we want to karaoke((:
and alamak the songs were all DANGDUT!
so since I knew a few songs I sang,
and so did rizqina.

and nenek songs very well!
and so papa did sing too.
it was great to see papa bonding with nenek;
cause in his childhood days he'd never felt the love of a mother;
cause arwah atuk took care of him and his siblings when nenek divorced him.

But it's great to see what forgiveness can do;
and it's true no one could say no to a mother's love.
Day ended with goodbyes and a long journey home on the bus 980.

310809 (Monday)

I couldn't sleep at all so I decided to cook sahur,
eggs were a success but the sausages were a little bit burnt):
But it felt great cooking for the family.
CAUSE I LOVE COOKING (L).
and papa said;

"Why burnt?? You were singing whilst cooking is it? That's why; the song haven't finish sausage cook already but cannot take out."

papa, papa;
still the same;
you said that when you met mami for the very first time and had dinner
at her aunts house;
papa commented:
"Hmph ikan hangus."

haha!
guess once a papa will always stay a papa(:

"Time will tell"

~ sabiruna.

Ya Allah,
Give me the strength to go through my everyday life, give me reason to live and smile and bring joy to the people around me. Give me the patience and a calm mind to understand. Give me faith and hope in what is uncertain for only You know mine and his fate.

Amin.

RAMADHAN; so far- patience

First day was a piece of cake,
Second day wasn't too bad,
Third day somehow it became a little bit harder,
and now sometimes my patience run low.

I disgust myself,
thinking about all the stuff I've done in the past,
the sins I've created.

But I know it's only humane.
I admit; I am a sinner,
and sometimes doing the right thing isn't always easy.

These few days,
I did have times where I just wanted to scream out
all the vulgarities I knew in my dictionary,
However I'd mange to hold back,
I took a deep breathe and told myself it wasn't worth it.

And I actually feel better.
I guess it is satisfying knowing that
you can have self control.

But these few days,
I've been running real low on motivation,
and yeah I'd have a lot of regrets.

Just when I thought it'd all been over,
it comes back to haunt me.
Lesson learnt.

Whatever you do,
however you avoid it,
the past will somehow creep right back in at you.

It's sober me up,
made me much more aware,
that whatever you did then,
done today and will do tomorrow,

someone will remember,
forgiving is always simple,
yet to forget is a whole other story.

so now i shall have to re-look at my schedule,
yes siree,
I still haven't terawih with lala and reen,
and go cook at lala's house with reen for buka.
soon ok girls!

Let tomorrow be a new day,
where I hold no grudges,
Where I smile with a sincere heart
and love with truth.

Where all those around me shall be treasured;
though matter how sometimes they'd irritate me.
Learn to smile and not cry,
and laugh and live life;
with faith and full of passion.

Let the zeal within me shine,

As-Sabirun

I found this interesting article from http://www.mysisterskeeper.com/beautifulnaseehah.html
to my muslim friends enjoy(:

parts from the article;

1)As a Muslimin/Muslimah you should have the understanding that if Allah intends good for you, you will be afflicted with hardship so that you may return to Allah with little sin. The Prophet (S) said,

"Anyone for whom Allah intends good, He makes him to suffer from some affliction." Sahih Al-Bukhari.

So affliction ( something that causes pain or suffering) should not be viewed as some horrible thing that has no good in it but trouble.

*2) You must bear whatever Allah is testing you with, with patience. This is so important to your mindset and your emotional stability. Allah says,

"O you who believe! Endure and be more patient..."(3:200)

And

"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient)." (2:155)

And

"Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning." (39:10)

And

"And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah." (42:43)

And

"Seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer). Truly, Allah is with As-Sabirun (the patient)." (2:153)

3) Do not forget Allah's mercy upon you.

4) Whatever your test is you can bear it with dignity and patience. Allah is fully aware of your capabilities and what you are able to take.

5) Lift that depressed heart and turn to Allah in ibaadah and good deeds. Seek the means to Allah's Mercy by increasing your good deeds. Don't forget the small kindnesses to your children, your neighbors, your friends, and family. Seek to give in charity, feed a poor person, offer your home for a halaqa, offer to teach someones children Qur'an, etc. Seek to increase your Ibaadah (worship) of Allah. Your Sunnah, your nawaafil, and most importantly the Ihsaan (praying as if you see Allah) of your Fard. With the increase of good deeds in your life you will feel the increase is Emaan.

I'm stil learning too. I just thought it'd be good to share this article(:

May we learn to be one of the As-Sabiruna during this holy month. InsyaAllah.

Amin.

2pm!

I WOKE UP AT 1.40PM TODAY!
ohmygoodness.
That's terrible.

I've missed subuh again-.-
and I'd better pray my zuhur,
after I've finished blogging.

So what's going on today??
Imma go accompany mami back from work,
bus back with her,
break fast at home,
maghrib,
and I feel like going to the yishun masjid to pray,
if time abides,
if not, then I'll go to Asyaafaah(:

Funny thing is I was supposed to be down at HQ,
to help out with admin work.
But then sabiruna overslept so now she can't go.

Im still thinking whether I should pray asar in Asyafaah,
just worried if there won't be enough time for me to go get mami.

Yeah i didnt sleep the whole night till sahur which was at about, 4.15am.
Then I just landed on my bed(:

Anyway, reason why Im blogging,
I actually wanted to just say,
being alone isn't so bad now,

I mean yes it'd be better if you have someone there for you,
But still it's the only way I'd learn to be self-sufficient,
Papa always told me, "Learn to be alone"
Now i get what he means.

He didnt mean alone, alone..

so here I am standing on both my feet (not literally though),
facing the world(:
I may be alone physically, mentally and all,
yet I'm never alone.

Yalli Nassini Ya Habib.

~Sabiruna

Secret of Ramadhan

Papa talked about it (referring to post title) today whilst walking home after Terawih today.
We both apparently wore green today(:
haha!
Yes I wore a jubah, man they're the most comfortable attire to Pray 23 rakaat-s in(:

Was late for Isya' so as soon as I set foot into the Masjid,
I prayed Isya' and Terawih started(:
Somehow I can't explain this feeling,
when I'm praying it's just really peaceful.

As usual,
I can't stand silence so started bombarding my Papa with questions.
Papa tells me that if I wanna drink at least stop to drink,
cause;
By right Sunnah Nabi S.A.W,
when we eat or drink we should sit.

After stopping to finish our water in the plastic cups,
papa just threw the cup into the bushes,
and I yelled "PAPA! You know I don't like it when someone litters!"

Then papa started talking about niat.
It was really interesting.

E.g. You have a one dollar coin, your niat is to donat it to the masjid whilst walking home you encounter a beggar. Do you give your coin?? By right you shouldn't cause you have already niat.
another good example would be, you have $5000, you have already niat to use it to go to Mecca when a desperate relative needs it. In event you gave that money away, an oppurtunity such as that would never come again.

Niat has it's many benefits, say what's the difference if I just drop a $1.oo coin on a beggar's palm or if instead I niat first to give this coin to the beggar and then i give. The difference is the pahala gained. It makes sense just like papa said everything revovles around one's niat, say then why would we have to niat before fasting ans niat before prayers 5 times a day.

Makes sense right?

And as we walked home I asked papa,
"Papa, do you feel sad when you're attending the last terawih of Bulan Ramadhan?"

Papa asked me,
" Why would you feel sad?"

I replied,
"Well, I'd be sad cause Ramadhan is the best month, the only month i get to devote everything."

Then Papa said,

"Let me tell you the Secret of Ramadhan. Take for example the Army, in the first few months they whack you, overtrain you so that you get used to it, it becomes something normal. It's the same for Ramadhan, In a month, you go all out and for the next 11 months you maintain your prayers and all; it may not be of the same standard but you still maintain. If you feel it, learned the secret you'd be happy when Ramadhan comes to an end because you know you have achieved something and you will be looking forward to the next month of Ramadhan. You're sad because you regret on how you have not made the best of Ramadhan, else you'd be happy."


I couldn't help but to agree with Papa even more, see papa said Islam is simple, therefore in a way our lack of knowledge in it makes us think it is difficult, "leceh" but truth is Islam has simplified everything for us,
for our convenience.

InsyaAllah this Ramadhan, it will be a fruitful one for My Family and I and for my friends too.

Amin.

~sabiruna.

TERAWIH!

It feels good to actually complete your prayers for the whole day;
It wasn't impossible(:
Went to accompany mami home,
took the bus 980 and I buka puasa in the bus today,
COOL or what(:
haha!

Then I was in time for TERAWIH!
Saw papa and lil bro waiting at the bus stop,
so waited for the bus with them,
my dad looked at my "attire"
Beige tudung, Flowery Baju kurung top,
and black pants,
He goes " Right nice if you go to school dressed like this, can tackle a guy who will bring you to Mecca not tackle some punk by the way you always dress."
HAHA!
I gave him the, "evil look".

haha but i love it,
the way you see my dad softens,
lembut hati dia pabila liht anak dara dia bertudung(:
LOL!

So rush, rush..
Finished terawih and walked slowly home,
Learned some interesting stuff from papa,
minor stuff bout praying and sunnah Nabi S.A.W.

WENT HOME,
at around 11pm,
showered and finally ate(:

I love the month of Ramadhan,
much,much more than Hari Raya too(:

And I'm amused by it all(:
won't stop laughing at the thought of it.
Reen and Lala,
go out soon okay,
we shall cook in Lala's kitchen,
and I'm looking forward to learning more stuff,
bout Islam itself in this month.

As-Sabirun [who patiently bear whatever may befall them (of calamities);

Wild Horses

Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady you know who I am
You know I cant let you slide through my hands

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldnt drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldnt drag me away

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie
I have my freedom but I dont have much time
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried
Lets do some living after we die

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day

take control

i had enough of all my foolish lies,
all my false pretense,
it's frustrating,
and im over with blogging,

im just gonna write in a diary,
it'd be better.

goodbye.

let the eyes talk

Look me in my eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore.
I see it in your eyes,
that very soul i knew and still know.

A lot has happened lately.

sometimes too much,
but im staying strong with faith and the love of my family.
it's hard having to live life just like how it is.
but it's also hard for the other person,
no one has had it easy,
and it's a challenge we face.


to be continued...

firstly, i would love to run to my mami and hug her to cry now.
i respect the decision made,
and i understand fully.

it's just a phase of time i shall have to go through.
and though i know of a lot of stuff,
i still see you as the same sincere person i know.

at least now i'm clear,
i know where i stand,
as compared to before,
left hanging.

thank you for the time,
it was really really really good to hear that voice again.
just know that when you need a friend for just about anything,
i'm here.

love,
sabiruna

hey girl its ya birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!
RIZQINA!
thank you so much for all the times you've been there for me,
and i really would like to apologise if ive not been the best sister you'd have,
sometimes things inside of me just cause a malfunction.

just know that i'm always here for you.
i will see you in the morning:)

LIL CHICKA!

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY SAYANG<3

MUAY THAI MADNESS!

I've got a confession to make!

I AM ADDICTED TO MUAY THAI!
very; to be precise,
a day without it it,
just feels so wrong.

and i have to skip, skip, skip,
run,run,run
jab,jab,jab
cross, cross, cross
kick, kick, kick
train,train,train.

yes.
im hooked to it.

and ALHAMDULILAAH,
i passed grading today.
i wasnt even taking it,
my intention was to go there to train.
i said a prayer as i was about to take the grading session.

suddenly Yuan Xi says "eh why you here?"
i was like im not taking grading what.
then he said aiyah just go, i pay already.
then i was no i dont think i can pass,
he said, you can one.

AND ALHAMDULILAAH,
i passed.

i didnt expect it,
but my stance needs improvement,
i keep losing my stance when i move.
working on it.

thank you so much Yuan Xi,
i really appreciate it.

i miss hardcore training!
i want HARDCORE!
yes siree.

CONGRATULATIONS to all my lovelies;
for passing your grading-
muay thai buddy buddy, my brothers and girlbros:)
YOU GUYS ARE LOVELY!

and it was nice to see you guys again,
cause i dont go on tuesdays,
and it's not often i get to see you guys.
esp justin kor kor, terrence and kp:)

and for you dear ones who have to try one more time,
ITS OKAY!
take care okay and all the best.
you guys are superb in every way,
give your best for the last;
if you put your heart and mind into it you'll do it,
especially KIRA BRO!
aites.

when the thai coach i think,
tied the pra jiad to my arm,
i felt something surge up,
one step at a time.

i placed my palms together and bow to say thank you.
i actually like him a lot, he will always correct my mistakes,
and somehow i feel as though,
he knows more of me then meets the eyes.
yeah.

yeap i may not be the best now,
but im working on it.
slowly i will learn and staying humble is KEY!

i will learn and train with much devotion,
and stay humble in every way,
always willing to learn.

i guess that is muay thai,
you see,
it's not all about hitting and hurting,
it's discipline,
devotion,
hard work,
failures and successes,
humble,
it really is beautiful.

my parents didnt say much about it,
they didnt congratulate me also,
i guess they're not really liking the idea of me doing muay thai.

but i understand,
but this is what i love,
and i will work on it.

and i don't give up things and people i love.

Coach Darren- some people gets it easy whilst some gets it harder. It doesn't matter the number of times you fall, but the number of times you get up each time you fall.