RAMADHAN; so far- patience

First day was a piece of cake,
Second day wasn't too bad,
Third day somehow it became a little bit harder,
and now sometimes my patience run low.

I disgust myself,
thinking about all the stuff I've done in the past,
the sins I've created.

But I know it's only humane.
I admit; I am a sinner,
and sometimes doing the right thing isn't always easy.

These few days,
I did have times where I just wanted to scream out
all the vulgarities I knew in my dictionary,
However I'd mange to hold back,
I took a deep breathe and told myself it wasn't worth it.

And I actually feel better.
I guess it is satisfying knowing that
you can have self control.

But these few days,
I've been running real low on motivation,
and yeah I'd have a lot of regrets.

Just when I thought it'd all been over,
it comes back to haunt me.
Lesson learnt.

Whatever you do,
however you avoid it,
the past will somehow creep right back in at you.

It's sober me up,
made me much more aware,
that whatever you did then,
done today and will do tomorrow,

someone will remember,
forgiving is always simple,
yet to forget is a whole other story.

so now i shall have to re-look at my schedule,
yes siree,
I still haven't terawih with lala and reen,
and go cook at lala's house with reen for buka.
soon ok girls!

Let tomorrow be a new day,
where I hold no grudges,
Where I smile with a sincere heart
and love with truth.

Where all those around me shall be treasured;
though matter how sometimes they'd irritate me.
Learn to smile and not cry,
and laugh and live life;
with faith and full of passion.

Let the zeal within me shine,

As-Sabirun

I found this interesting article from http://www.mysisterskeeper.com/beautifulnaseehah.html
to my muslim friends enjoy(:

parts from the article;

1)As a Muslimin/Muslimah you should have the understanding that if Allah intends good for you, you will be afflicted with hardship so that you may return to Allah with little sin. The Prophet (S) said,

"Anyone for whom Allah intends good, He makes him to suffer from some affliction." Sahih Al-Bukhari.

So affliction ( something that causes pain or suffering) should not be viewed as some horrible thing that has no good in it but trouble.

*2) You must bear whatever Allah is testing you with, with patience. This is so important to your mindset and your emotional stability. Allah says,

"O you who believe! Endure and be more patient..."(3:200)

And

"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient)." (2:155)

And

"Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning." (39:10)

And

"And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah." (42:43)

And

"Seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer). Truly, Allah is with As-Sabirun (the patient)." (2:153)

3) Do not forget Allah's mercy upon you.

4) Whatever your test is you can bear it with dignity and patience. Allah is fully aware of your capabilities and what you are able to take.

5) Lift that depressed heart and turn to Allah in ibaadah and good deeds. Seek the means to Allah's Mercy by increasing your good deeds. Don't forget the small kindnesses to your children, your neighbors, your friends, and family. Seek to give in charity, feed a poor person, offer your home for a halaqa, offer to teach someones children Qur'an, etc. Seek to increase your Ibaadah (worship) of Allah. Your Sunnah, your nawaafil, and most importantly the Ihsaan (praying as if you see Allah) of your Fard. With the increase of good deeds in your life you will feel the increase is Emaan.

I'm stil learning too. I just thought it'd be good to share this article(:

May we learn to be one of the As-Sabiruna during this holy month. InsyaAllah.

Amin.