Life as it is.

Those tiny fingers and toes,
that little breath of air;
those tiny eyes blind;
so tiny;
new and fresh;
innocent;

the taunts;
bullying;
childish games and glares;
giggles and baby fats;
ignorance;
a mind too matured for that moment in life;

stained;
naive;
impatient;
blush and embarrassment;
beauty along with a curse;
used;
fondled;
played;

denial;
truth and lies;
aches;
red;
smiles;
heat;

lust;
denial;
ignorance.

truth;
faith;
peace;
desire;

momentary;
forever;

life's a temporary high;
love sets out to give me a permanent high.
love's the drug;
neither the pill nor nicotine;

they say while it lasts;
then let my selfish self in denial
tell my foolish soul;
this is forever.

another episode of it all?
take my hand in this journey;
and you'll see why I spend my nights
awake;

dreams turn to nightmares;
and not a teardrop spared;
for I care too much for this wretched world;
I love it too much then I should;

but I can't help it;
like an oceans' current;
never ending are my worries and fears.

for I care too much for this world;
for I love too much for this world;

it's me;
just the way I am.

just the way I am.

a Hedonist.

your pain my pain.
your pleasure my pleasure.
your sadness my sadness.

I feel things I shouldn't feel;
see things I shouldn't see.

that's just me.

the pursuit of pleasure in all ways and forms.
I strive for it;
like a madman in love with a dead corpse.

ok I need a dosage of nicotine for this madness.
pardon this post.