Thank You(:

WOW sabi,
you've been such a bitch!
Thank goodness I've opened up my eyes;
Thank goodness it has hit me hard.

Things happen for a reason;
for a moment there, everything did seem fucked up;
but atlas,
bad things happened cause good things are to come.
(like how you always did tell me)

I'm sorry for calling you a jerk;
hating your guts and ego;
Hating you to the core;
truth be told you did the right thing;
which is to move on,

and in my state of selfishness;
I HATED you.
But now I realise how foolish all of it had been.

I sincerely,
from the bottom of my heart would like to thank you for everything;
we'd been through.
It didn't end off on a good note;
But thank goodness
for the things I learnt when I was with you.

You were a sweet dream which turned into a nightmare;
and I'm not saying it's a bad thing;
instead,
I appreciate everything you'd put me through;
the heartaches and the dizzy "love" spells.

You were a slap to reality to me.
And I learnt it the hard way;
glad I did.

I'll pray for your happiness;
Seek your forgiveness for my foolish act;
and I hope you will last with your love;
May she be your source of happiness and joy;
your source of strength and
your guiding star in the darkness.

Thank you and forgive me.

**********************************************************

I'm sorry for my perception on you;
you're an amazing person deep down;
and I hope you will live a blessed life;
filled with joy, wealth and health(:

You've got what it takes,
so keep that spirit alive;
you're one STRONG girl(:

and I salute you for that(:

****************************************************************

I can't believe how a broken heart transformed me into a demon;
I'm glad I'd learn from it;
I'm throwing it all away.

No one's perfect;
maybe i expect too much out of love..

I'm learning.

~ Yours Sincerely,
Sabiruna.


" There ain't no special couples only ordinary couples with extraordinary stories"
~Sabiruna

Happenings.

My head lies to my heart
And my heart it still believes
It seems the ones who love us are the ones
That we deceive
But you're changing everything
You're changing everything in me

I love you.
yes I really do;
help me; save me from my self-destruction.
I'm falling hard and I don't know if I'll be able to pull through this;

so please don't break this fragile pathetic heart;
the feelings they're coming back;
but I still need this numbness;
I'm afraid.

be my strength;

but I do know;
I love you.
I love you my close stranger.

*********************************************

It's time for me to take a step back,
to say goodbye,
these 5 years of my life with NCC
has been great;
but I fear I won't be doing a good job;
for all the commitments I shall and will
have to shoulder.

So this is goodbye.
I will be back someday when all is good;
when I get things right.

***********************************************************

school term has started;
and I am trying to be enthusiastic.
I've got this silly intuitive feeling going on;
that something is going to happen.

And I will explode and rebel;
and I will not lose the fight.

This is it;
It' either make or break.

and I hate giving up and failing.
I'm all out on this one.

*************************************************

It's back to those good old days;
where gymming and jogging was almost everything.
I'm back.

***********************************************

time to find my spiritual self again;
I don't wanna lose it.

*********************************************

Know what I ain't got nothing to hide,
Faiz, I Love You.

~Sabiruna

"One succeeds with patience; and success comes with patience"

Jurame

Andrea Bocelli's Jurame
<3

Swear to me, that even
though much time passes,
I'll never forget the moment
that I met you.

Look at me,
there is nothing more profound,
nor grander in this world than
my affection for you.

Kiss me, with the kiss of a lover,
like no one's ever kissed me since
the day that I was born.

Want me, want me until you
are filled with madness,
then you will know the bitterness,
that I am suffering because of you.

Everyone says that it's a lie
that I love you.
Because they've never really seen
me in love before.
I swear, that I myself
don't understand why
Just a glance from you captivates me.

When I am close to you I am happy.
I don't want you to remember others.
I am jealous at the thought
that you may remember
another person's love.

Swear to me, that even
though much time passes,
I'll never forget the moment
that I met you.


"Why you're so obsessed with me?"

It's cause I love you.

From time to time,
I shall keep this love alive;
for we both know,
what it feels like to be alone.

you have me.
you will always have me<3

when.

I thought I'd never let this feelings come back to me
again.
I was determined and sure that this time,
I'm ready to say NO.

But here I am going against that self promise,
Any regrets?
nope.

You told me,
not to give up on love,
else it'd be such a waste.

Here I am,
vulnerable again,
that little happy girl once more;

I've found my peace,
yet within lies a fear,
what if this isn't forever.

But it's the hope and belief that,
you will redeem Love,
to its name I'd never knew before.

I always thought I'd knew what love is,
from my previous relationships,
yet i realised,
It had been the wrong love.

Sacred love,
stooped so low before me once,
lost it's wonderful meaning;
in exchange for a foolish fleet of emotions.

was that love?
Had I never tasted true love?

yet I know the feeling of a broken hearted girl.
the feeling you get when
all the promises ever made was all EMPTY.
gone with the wind;
your presence in the distance,
I no longer recognise you no more.

Yet I believe you,
You aren't the same.
and we'll let our broken hearts sing the same tune;
alone with the light breeze of the night;
all you have to do is smile;
and you know you'll be mine.

Rationality;
it shall keep us sane;
nothing foolish.
we all have a goal to reach here.

Call it foolish;
I deem it wise.

the journey to true love?
sacred love?

don't prove me right again.
I wanna be wrong;
I wanna know how it feels;
to really LOVE someone.

take me as I am,
take all of me.

(:

Mak maintain seh!

Today was good,
and I'm so in love with that little kitten tennis BALL!

met mami,
for dinner like finally,
and I had my hungry mode on,
ordered Beef Hor Fun at City Plaza (y)
mami had her Beef Fried Rice.

and took 980 back home.
that's about it.

Tomorrow;
I'll be home the WHOLE day.
LOOKS like it's time to CLEAN HOUSE!

and I'm so gonna bulk my macbook with reggaeton songs,
and WORK THAT BOOTY SHAKE!

it's good workout.
I'm bored,
I'm lost,
I'm confused,
and I'm utterly cranky.

I hate being like this!
ARGH!

tuesdays!
punch the shit out of the PADS!

SING. SANG. SUNG.

I'll give my best at everything.
I'm not perfect.
Keep reminding myself that,
I'm not perfect.

Why?

I'd never understand this life,
In every single thing I do lies a sin,
then what is the point of always trying to do the right thing.

People look at us and say,
look at them,
they have sinned,
for have you not sinned in your younger days?

We're all sinners,
and sometimes always trying to just do the right thing gets too tiring,
and yet i strive for it.

I feel like a hypocrite,
I'm doing and trying to do the right things,
yet still i sin in so many other ways.

So tell me what's the point of living life,
If everything done is wrong,
and is a sin,
then I'd rather choose not to live.

I'm sick,
sick of living up to it,
it gets tiring,
and all that I do;

Is just plain wrong.

why?

I just want to be plain,
simple, pure and clean.

I hate my past,
and I fear my future.

I'm nowhere.
I'm lost.

No one knows the full story,
People who knew just nodded their head
and told me to move on;

but you don't know,
how dirty I feel,
how burdened I am with the past sins.

and i fear,
i fear it all.

I'm a lost soul.

My everything.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you, cause I know that you feel me somehow."

You could be my everything,
I could be your only one.
You've been my wonderwall lately,
and I can't shun away this feelings.

It creeps slowly into,
that little hole in my heart,
slowly,
the numbness fades.

I could be your forever,
we could end whenever;
when all the uncertainties lie ahead,
will you pull through?

What would it mean to you if,
I'd say I love you;

Would you play a little game with me;
then leave me hanging;
would you respect a sacred thing;
Love?

Fleet of emotions;
they lose sense of all control.
Lovers lay down;
ashamed of a sin untold.

Will my past unfold?
Or is this finally what I've been looking for?
Is this finally what you have been looking for?
is this love?

Lose sense of rationality,
But I shall have to pull through,
our rationality is all we have to sanity.
You and I know.

You've been one of the best things that has happened to me,
I'll say it sincerely,
You are the best thing that has happened to me.

I meant all the things that I have said,
and will you mean yours?
I know you will.

Time leaves us hanging,
Love has its ways,
But Faith in all that happens
that Fate will redeem itself.

It shall keep us strong,
it shall keep our broken-hearts strong.

Yang Benar,
~ sabiruna.

i miss you.

(: Hey Apek I miss ya alot!!! ((:

Was bored and I started to listen to Broery Marantika. My Top Two Fave!

Mawar Berduri

Tertulislah kisah, tentang bunga mawar
Di tengah belukar yang penuh dengan duri
Semerbak harumnya yang tiada tara
Siapapun ingin memetik bunga itu

Banyaklah kumbang datang ingin menghisap madunya
Aduh sayang
Banyak kumbang yang mati karena tertusuk duri
Aduh sayang

Kau memberi hati kepada diriku
Seluruh hidupku, kudambakan padamu
Tak kusangka sangka bukan hanya daku
Mendapat kasihmu membuat hati luka

Mawar berduri, kini kupergi
Dengan membawa luka di hati
Mawar berduri, cukup sekali
Kau melukai hatiku, hatiku

And Top Favourite:

Jangan Ada Dusta Antara Kita

Ketika pertama kujumpa denganmu
Bukankah pernah kutanyakan padamu, kasih:
Tak kan kecewakah kau pada diriku?
Tak kan menyesalkah kau hidup denganku nanti?

Memang kau bukan yang pertama bagiku
Pernah satu hati mengisi hidupku dulu
Kini semua kau katakan padaku
Jangan ada dusta di antara kita, kasih~~

Semua terserah padamu, aku begini adanya
Kuhormati keputusanmu, apapun yang akan kau katakan,
Sebelum terlanjur kita jauh melangkah,
kau katakan saja

EVERYTHING WILL FALL IN PLACE SABI TELL YOURSELF THAT SABI;
EVERYTHING WILL FALL IN PLACE.

Mrs Emo Whiterobe

1st October 2009

Mrs Emo Whiterobe.

Met up with Ah Pek again(: So we met at Causeway Point; when Apek said “Lets just walk around to look for shades.” What I heard was, “Lets just walk around to look for shytes” LOL!! Damn. I’m still as blur as always I guess.

And Apek’s bicycle was still in the repair shop, cause it’s “chains got a little rusty”. HAHA! Finally at John Little, we found shades, and I agree with you Apek, policemen shades don’t go with YA! You know, you know why?? Cause you gotta get the ones with a thick gold frame (y). AND finally decided that the brown one went better with Apek, my reason; it suits Apek’s skin tone and hair colour and Apek was like “Ouh so if I were to dye my hair silver I can pull off this chrome one la!” HAHA, tsk at you Apek.

Finally started our “emo” conversations at some random block! Talked and Talked. I think I talk too much. And I cracked up about the “BJ” thing haha BJ in Apek terms is “Bau Jantan” something like Guys BO. HAH again I was blur for a moment.

Then we took the bus 961 to Ngee Ann. It was SUPER fast! I’m going to take that bus to school once school re-opens. And Apek was like “public” *sighs . What to do he misses his bicycle, he cycles everyway so without it he kinda feels “BANG BANG BANG TREET CHING!”

When we reached NP Apek headed out into the wilderness of NP. Nowhere to be seen at all! And as I was about to climb the stairs to the Muay Thai clubhouse, I saw FIANY!!! HIPPY BABE I SO MISS YA!!!! Ran up and she went up the granstand steps and we were like HUGGING AND SCREAMING AND JUMPING AROUND! BABE so glad to see you again I swear(:

Training killer today! I’ve never perspired like that before till now, my sweat looked like tears rolling down my cheeks! HAHA. And after so long FINALLY I SPARRED! Fiany babe is so fierce with her kicks, KILLER. I love your knees and whip kicks): I suck at this. MY legs are just so LAZY! Damn. TRAIN SABI TRAIN!!!

After which I said my goodbyes, Yuan Xi, Han and Saunders. Asked if we were going off or?? I said someone’s waiting and they were like guy or girl?? And I said guy they were like OOOHHHH, BF arh?? LOL! Funny guys can’t wait to see you guys on Tuesday again! Whoopie Doo!

Hugged Fiany goodbye and Apek appeared from the wilderness of NP! Took 52 to Bishan, MCDONALDS MCDONALDS! Hahaha, I was super hungry, but once I got the McChicken in with a dose of fries I was damn full, super duper full. Despite the fact that I am pretty much a big eater, I’ve just been losing my appetite lately, no idea why. Met Apek’s bicycle friends, they were super friendly really easy going(:

And how the day ended: I headed home on the mrt bumped into Azuwan (I think it’s spelt that way) in the mrt, wave and said hello. AND headed HOME! Mrs Emo Whiterobe was really silent that night, and Apek is happy about his repaired bicycle. And I “so don’t miss this apek”. (:
Thanks for the lovely day. And don’t emo else do the 10seconds thing and then do your psychopath smile! I know there’s a lot of stuff running through that mind of yours. You don’t say nor show but I’ll always know. Just like that crush thing I was talking about! Haha!

I’m falling again, and I fear much too much, I don’t want anything to crumble it’s beautiful just the way it is already. I hope you know. A risk I could take but wouldn’t want to take for nothing is permanent and everything just fades away eventually. Yet it’s all coming back to me, like poison it creeps slowly into this heart. And I can’t ignore it. For you and I know; or maybe it’s just me? Yet I’ve grown so numb the feelings seemed to have toned down, it’s under control and I can’t let my heart in. I can’t despite the fact that I want to. I’m tied down, my hands are tied down to this fate and I’m bound in a bed of roses; beautiful yet wincing from its thorns.

You know you’ll always have me when you need an intellectual conversation; a psychopathic day, someone to cheer each other up, 10 seconds to emo with, a smoking kaki, someone to tease you and threatens to trying her combos on you, someone to accommodate Mrs Emo Whiterobe in the middle on the night on T days, someone just to be there for you. (:

“Taking life so easy from here, I’m here. It’s all up in arms, and something will never change, but I’m okay”.

~ Yang Benar,
Sabiruna.