Nothing.

1) shuffle your music to shuffle mode
2) press next for each ques, and right down the song title
3) no matter how lame the ans is, just write it down.HEE!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Choo Choo - Artic Monkeys

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
The Climb- Miley Cyrus (I dont like Miley but the lyrics in the song is awesome!)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
That's just What I Like- Paradiso Girls Ft. Will.I.Am

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
I am Stretched on Your Grave- Sinnead O Connor

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Smile- Lily Allen

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Dance,Dance- Fall Out Boy

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
The Blower's Daughter- Damien Rice

WHAT IS 2+2?
Poker Face- Lady Gaga (mamamamama) LOL.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Save You- Simple Plan

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
If You were My Girl- Kevin Lyttle (:D)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Dancin' In The Moonlight- Toploader

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Some Kinda Rush- Booty Luv

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Stand By Me- John Lennon (come die with me) LOL!

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Dilemma- Nelly Ft. Kelly Rowland

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Lovebug- Jonas Brothers (only song I love from them)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Lemon Tree- Fool's Garden

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Making Love Out of Nothing At All- Air Supply (wah power sia I can make love VIRTUALLY!!!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
We Got The Beat- The Go-Gos

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Teardrops on My Guitar- Taylor Swift
(suckiest feeling is loving someone and having to see them love someone else): )

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Forever- Chris Brown
( used to be my message ringtone for "him" )

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Shoulda Let You Go- Keyshia Cole
( SO TRUE!)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson
):

HAIZ.
time to start another long day; I can't wait to spend some quality time with baby and also gfs.
Now I get a taste of the working life and I can't believe I'm gonna face this for the next 4 decades in my life. I shall say I'm all in for an early retirement.

"I'm a train-wreck in the morning, I'm a bitch in the afternoon, every now and then without warning I can be really mean toward you, I'm a puzzle yes indeed ever complex in every way and all the pieces aren't even in the box, yet you see the picture clear as day; I don't know why you love me and that's why I love you; catch me when I fall; Accept me flaws and all"

"I neglect you when I'm working, when I need attention I tend to nag. I'M A HOST OF IMPERFECTION AND YOU SEE PASS ALL THAT."

" You see potential in all my flaws and that's exactly what I mean"

~ and that's why I love you.

You found out that you were going to be a parent, what would you do?
- How could I be a parent without even going through the process to be one??

Do you currently have a crush on someone? Or any feelings at all?
- Nah.

What would you do if you walked in on your best friend having sex?
- WAH!!! *stares and decides should I watch or leave* then walk away.

Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your bf/gf?
- I doubt they'd do such a thing; they're my best friend for a good amount of reasons.

What do you miss most about the past?
- Fighting with reen and siha in class.

Did you kiss anyone this summer?
- does in S'pores' humid weather count?

Are you listening to music right now?
- No.

Is any part of you sad at all?
- yeah. idk why.

Do you miss someone right now?
- YES.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?
- (:

Which friend of yours is most similar to you?
- (:

What would be the first thing you would do with 100,000 dollars?
- IDK. sit and organise the money.

Can you commit to one person?
- (:

Are you a mean person?
- If it calls for me to be one.

How bad are heartbreaks?
- Ouh they're nothing; no harm.

Has a guy ever let you wear his jacket?
- uhuh.

Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?
- my bf la; why? LOL! *ok im sleepy*

Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
- nothing to complain about.

Is your room ever clean?
- has to be clean!

Do you like being around a large group of friends, or a best friend?
- Anything is ok go to me; but sometimes i like a one-to-one quality time.

Is there a night you would like to put on repeat, and live it forever?
- Hell yeah!!!!!!!!

Have you ever asked a boy for advice?
- lots of times.

Are you ticklish?
- unfortunately very.

How often do you listen to music?
- when i feel like it.

Do you trust all your friends?
- only a foolish man would trust all and end up getting hurt in the end.

When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
- I never do mean it; cause truth be told I care too much; that I don't care is just non-existent in my life.

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- maybe.

Did you say "f--k" today?
- amazingly its a no for today.

What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails ?
- lips and nails.

Look to the left. What catches your eye first?
- Candle flame.

What was the last thing you ordered at Mcdonalds?
- Double cheeseburger.

Are you thinking about someone right now?
- yeah.

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other?
- yeah man!

Are any of your close friends virgins?
- Yes.

What are your plans for tomorrow?
- Shooting.

How much money's in your bank account?
- KOSONG!

Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you?
- yes and no.

This is for keeps.

To my one love;

Dear love,
how have things been for you over there?
I'd figured that you're a very busy man,
and I wouldn't want to disturb you in anyway.

Love, somehow I sense that something has been bothering you,
though you try to shun it away from me I do know,
and no I'm not mad or angry in anyway.
I respect your decisions,
yet just know that you do have me here,
right here and I'm here to listen.

Do remember to have your meals;
don't skip them else Mr. Bad ass Gastric will make his attack again.
Ouh!
And whatever it is,
start your day with a smile and end it off with a smile too;
despite the fact that a day might have been crappy;
we'll just hope for better tomorrows (:

Don't think too much;
though I think this would apply to me much more.

and last but not the least,

I love you today, tomorrow and always (:

take care now.

p.s. I'm experimenting with photoshop now; I'm tryna do something. It's a surprise!

ephemeral euphoria

for one's heart shant never be mine,
for ones' heart yearns for another;
spare me one's words..

for one; eyes tell me enough;
as each passing moment;
I see her shadows in ones' eyes;
her touch upon ones' skin;
her name engraved in ones' heart.

but it'll all soon be okay;
maybe somehow someway;
may my love be the cure-
may my love be strong.

Words shan't poison my soul.
for they're just mere words;
nothings meant to last forever;
and in time I've lacked to see it all.

Foolishness hasn't spared me this time round;
yet if denial is what I have
then in denial I shall live.

For I know the truth which resides in one's heart;
that truth that makes it ache;

but I'll stay strong;
though I'm weak.

I'll stay strong.

remember what I'd said before;
we'll let our broken-hearts sing the same tune;
yet do know my love for you is pure.

Life as it is.

Those tiny fingers and toes,
that little breath of air;
those tiny eyes blind;
so tiny;
new and fresh;
innocent;

the taunts;
bullying;
childish games and glares;
giggles and baby fats;
ignorance;
a mind too matured for that moment in life;

stained;
naive;
impatient;
blush and embarrassment;
beauty along with a curse;
used;
fondled;
played;

denial;
truth and lies;
aches;
red;
smiles;
heat;

lust;
denial;
ignorance.

truth;
faith;
peace;
desire;

momentary;
forever;

life's a temporary high;
love sets out to give me a permanent high.
love's the drug;
neither the pill nor nicotine;

they say while it lasts;
then let my selfish self in denial
tell my foolish soul;
this is forever.

another episode of it all?
take my hand in this journey;
and you'll see why I spend my nights
awake;

dreams turn to nightmares;
and not a teardrop spared;
for I care too much for this wretched world;
I love it too much then I should;

but I can't help it;
like an oceans' current;
never ending are my worries and fears.

for I care too much for this world;
for I love too much for this world;

it's me;
just the way I am.

just the way I am.

a Hedonist.

your pain my pain.
your pleasure my pleasure.
your sadness my sadness.

I feel things I shouldn't feel;
see things I shouldn't see.

that's just me.

the pursuit of pleasure in all ways and forms.
I strive for it;
like a madman in love with a dead corpse.

ok I need a dosage of nicotine for this madness.
pardon this post.

alone

It's a world where every man is for himself.

Lovely.

I'd like to dedicate this post to a group of special people;
Bros and Sis' ; and Friends;
whom I've not been meeting up for after such a long time.
I MISS YOU PEOPLE!!!

I know; it may seem as though I've forgotten everyone;
but please do know that I do think about every single one of you every single day.
It may seem as though you've lost my care and concern;
however; I do keep you in my prayers;
hoping that all of you will have a good day ahead.

I may be in the wrong at times;
How much time would one take to send a message to ask another how he or she is doing?
however I am just like any other ordinary human;
and I too have my flaws.

I may not verbally or physically show my care and concern;
and there's so many to love;
therefore I decided that it'd be best to keep all of you in mind and heart.
Where all is fair and just;
for I dare not love anyone more or less.

If ever for once; you'd thought or think that you're forgotten;
please forgive me;
and do know that you are not forgotten.

If time abides;
we'll meet soon after.

just know that you aren't forgotten;
for I know how it feels;
to be left alone despite the fact of having everyone around you
and yet you feel alone.

But truth is we never were alone;
someone had and have always been there.

With Love,
Sabiruna.

Dandy December

So far things have been A.W.E.S.O.M.E :D

4th December 2009
Went out with Mr. Faiz :)
headed down to beach road and thereafter Arab Street to meet Mayhem,
and I do have to admit,
it was nice seeing almost everyone once again:)

pictures courtesy of ziza:)




6th December 2009
Papa called home in the morning;
SSC's Giant had this crazy sale, 1 frozen Sadia Chicken for $1
and 1 packet of Dory fish fillets for $1 too.
Each person was only entitled to 2 packets each,
so headed down with Miss Gendut, Miss Kudut and Mr Cakap Besar to SSC,
and we got 10 packets of each!

Papa then belanja-ed us roti prata for breakfast;
whilst on the way home;
I suggested that we'd head to the swimming pool today;
papa grinned widely.

AND WE DID!
It was great fun:)
Though the two little ones are such panicky lil children;
at least Miss Gendut has learnt how to relax and float:)

and papa swims so beautifully;
he swims pretty gracefully for a man his teddy- bearish size:)

What a way to end my weekends;
just one word:)
LOVELY.
(in a failed attempted british accent)

It's just like that.

Random Facts of the day!

1. I rarely like typing my name out as Sabiruna, I'd rather type it out as sabiruna.
2. I hate and love using CAPS it's a love-hate thing.
3. I've got a fetish for ears and necks and arms.
4. I like cats with that "v" shape on their backs.
5. I dance in my room alone when I'm bored.
6. If I could I would love to try to jump off and climb everything around me.
7. I think I've got a bad fashion sense though I can't really be bothered with; I love the way I dress.
8. EVEN HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL PROMOTES SEX -.-"
9. Whatever happened to those innocent movies children should watch??
10. I'M SO BORED!
11. I'M SO FAT!
12. DAMN I'M SHALLOW.
13. HAHA! I'm CRAZY. VERY CRAZY!
14. I NEED HELP. SANITY!!!!!

One chance,
to prove me wrong;
one chance already gone.
All is same.

Nothing changes...
Tired of it all.
sick of it all.

Why is it all being so difficult?
Why is it all being so hard to believe.

Of what is left for me to hold on to,
when it never did exist.

I wanna cruise with flowers in my hair!

Outsider wedding's escort was a blast(:
It was just nice to see a whole stretch of bikes on the road;
it was awesome.

and indeed it is a small world;

and can I say that Mayhem is simply awesome(;

Qouted by Shahrul: Mayhem! Nombor hanya angkah; Jiwa mesti ada!

haha:)

With Love.

I've been trying to find the right words to say;
and write.
Yet somehow I know;
nothing I say nor do will ever sum up to the things I wished
I could sometimes say or do.

It'd take me an eternity to tell you how I feel;
for it'd be equivalent to infinity.

You amaze me;
confuse me.

It's hard for me to say I love you;
It used to be so easy.

However,
finally now,
I realized why it'd been so hard for me to tell you;
it's the fact that "I love you" seems so sacred now.
It isn't something.
It isn't just anything.

I don't wanna say it too many a time;
I don't want it to ever lose it's magic;
it's meaning.

Uncertainties lie ahead;
ironic isn't it:)
adaptations and ever-changing directions;
love fuels life;
sometimes love kills.

I'm speechless;
(:

p.s. I miss janguty! and your thick hair :) haha well at least both of them will grow back eventually. Anyhow; I still like you just they way you are =)

<3

Just kill me,
and end it all off,
give me a quick and sudden death,
I don't wanna live no more.

I'm frustrated with myself,
utterly dissapointed- beyond words;
all talk no action;
that's me.

AND im sick of myself!

Serve with pride and dedication.

I was going through my stuff in the wee hours of the night;
when I came across this plastic bag;
Curious I opened it up;

In it I found the cadets appraisals from 4th ADC.
I sat silent reading it;
Memories slowly coming back;
and I smiled.

It'd finally hit me;
after all these years;
the only reason I'd stayed on was for the fact that;
I could have the opportunity to share even the littlest amount
of my knowledge with the cadets.

It was never about the rank nor status for me;
It had always been about the cadets.

And I swear I do miss those times dearly;
and I do hope that with this little amount of time;
I'd be able to go back to help in camps again.

I was looking for the SSC appraisals and I guess I did leave it in my locker;
with my no.3 in HQ.
I will be back.

Nothing is much more satisfying then that feeling when it
comes to the end of the day;
you know you've tried your very best to teach;
and learn at the same time.

and that is what it had and has always been for me.

I will always be white bar Cadet Officer Sabiruna;
and I'm proud of it;
for I know that it's when I'm the closest link to the cadets;
and that's when I'm the happiest(:

November Smiles.

Before November;
30th October 2009
We the awesome class of T1A1 and T1A2 FSV students;
dressed up for Halloween to school:D

It was way too cool!

061109
went out with gfs(;
like finally!!!!
wee!


The dare;
a poisonous concoction
of cinnamon powder; whipped cream; caramel; chocolate powder;
Sugar; milk; water; creamer and vanilla powder!
muahaha!


By the end of the day a group picture:D

071109
Mayhem's 1st Anniversary(:
met faizee!!!!
played with tum tum(;

and finally washed raphael:D

He was apek for the day;
and I was nyonya;
imagine 2 bags of packet mee on a bike;
hahahaha!

really funny.
The BBQ was great fun(:
and it was superbly nice nice nice:D

<3

HAPPY NOVEMBER!

1st November 2009

It's such a lovely way to start the whole month of November(:
An impromptu double movie date with my parents;
at Plaza Singapura,
Their blessings for Raphael(:

Shawarma at Arab Street plus sisha,
Faizee went went all crazy with the red bandana,
dang we're entertainment to people I guess(:

Thanks Mami and Papa for the LOVELY day(:

AND FAIZEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
thanks for the *awesome day yow(:

*opens up silat move*

haha!

a day I shall forever remember,
man this is like my first time!
haha and I still can't believe it'd all had happen(:

<3

Thank You(:

WOW sabi,
you've been such a bitch!
Thank goodness I've opened up my eyes;
Thank goodness it has hit me hard.

Things happen for a reason;
for a moment there, everything did seem fucked up;
but atlas,
bad things happened cause good things are to come.
(like how you always did tell me)

I'm sorry for calling you a jerk;
hating your guts and ego;
Hating you to the core;
truth be told you did the right thing;
which is to move on,

and in my state of selfishness;
I HATED you.
But now I realise how foolish all of it had been.

I sincerely,
from the bottom of my heart would like to thank you for everything;
we'd been through.
It didn't end off on a good note;
But thank goodness
for the things I learnt when I was with you.

You were a sweet dream which turned into a nightmare;
and I'm not saying it's a bad thing;
instead,
I appreciate everything you'd put me through;
the heartaches and the dizzy "love" spells.

You were a slap to reality to me.
And I learnt it the hard way;
glad I did.

I'll pray for your happiness;
Seek your forgiveness for my foolish act;
and I hope you will last with your love;
May she be your source of happiness and joy;
your source of strength and
your guiding star in the darkness.

Thank you and forgive me.

**********************************************************

I'm sorry for my perception on you;
you're an amazing person deep down;
and I hope you will live a blessed life;
filled with joy, wealth and health(:

You've got what it takes,
so keep that spirit alive;
you're one STRONG girl(:

and I salute you for that(:

****************************************************************

I can't believe how a broken heart transformed me into a demon;
I'm glad I'd learn from it;
I'm throwing it all away.

No one's perfect;
maybe i expect too much out of love..

I'm learning.

~ Yours Sincerely,
Sabiruna.


" There ain't no special couples only ordinary couples with extraordinary stories"
~Sabiruna

Happenings.

My head lies to my heart
And my heart it still believes
It seems the ones who love us are the ones
That we deceive
But you're changing everything
You're changing everything in me

I love you.
yes I really do;
help me; save me from my self-destruction.
I'm falling hard and I don't know if I'll be able to pull through this;

so please don't break this fragile pathetic heart;
the feelings they're coming back;
but I still need this numbness;
I'm afraid.

be my strength;

but I do know;
I love you.
I love you my close stranger.

*********************************************

It's time for me to take a step back,
to say goodbye,
these 5 years of my life with NCC
has been great;
but I fear I won't be doing a good job;
for all the commitments I shall and will
have to shoulder.

So this is goodbye.
I will be back someday when all is good;
when I get things right.

***********************************************************

school term has started;
and I am trying to be enthusiastic.
I've got this silly intuitive feeling going on;
that something is going to happen.

And I will explode and rebel;
and I will not lose the fight.

This is it;
It' either make or break.

and I hate giving up and failing.
I'm all out on this one.

*************************************************

It's back to those good old days;
where gymming and jogging was almost everything.
I'm back.

***********************************************

time to find my spiritual self again;
I don't wanna lose it.

*********************************************

Know what I ain't got nothing to hide,
Faiz, I Love You.

~Sabiruna

"One succeeds with patience; and success comes with patience"

Jurame

Andrea Bocelli's Jurame
<3

Swear to me, that even
though much time passes,
I'll never forget the moment
that I met you.

Look at me,
there is nothing more profound,
nor grander in this world than
my affection for you.

Kiss me, with the kiss of a lover,
like no one's ever kissed me since
the day that I was born.

Want me, want me until you
are filled with madness,
then you will know the bitterness,
that I am suffering because of you.

Everyone says that it's a lie
that I love you.
Because they've never really seen
me in love before.
I swear, that I myself
don't understand why
Just a glance from you captivates me.

When I am close to you I am happy.
I don't want you to remember others.
I am jealous at the thought
that you may remember
another person's love.

Swear to me, that even
though much time passes,
I'll never forget the moment
that I met you.


"Why you're so obsessed with me?"

It's cause I love you.

From time to time,
I shall keep this love alive;
for we both know,
what it feels like to be alone.

you have me.
you will always have me<3

when.

I thought I'd never let this feelings come back to me
again.
I was determined and sure that this time,
I'm ready to say NO.

But here I am going against that self promise,
Any regrets?
nope.

You told me,
not to give up on love,
else it'd be such a waste.

Here I am,
vulnerable again,
that little happy girl once more;

I've found my peace,
yet within lies a fear,
what if this isn't forever.

But it's the hope and belief that,
you will redeem Love,
to its name I'd never knew before.

I always thought I'd knew what love is,
from my previous relationships,
yet i realised,
It had been the wrong love.

Sacred love,
stooped so low before me once,
lost it's wonderful meaning;
in exchange for a foolish fleet of emotions.

was that love?
Had I never tasted true love?

yet I know the feeling of a broken hearted girl.
the feeling you get when
all the promises ever made was all EMPTY.
gone with the wind;
your presence in the distance,
I no longer recognise you no more.

Yet I believe you,
You aren't the same.
and we'll let our broken hearts sing the same tune;
alone with the light breeze of the night;
all you have to do is smile;
and you know you'll be mine.

Rationality;
it shall keep us sane;
nothing foolish.
we all have a goal to reach here.

Call it foolish;
I deem it wise.

the journey to true love?
sacred love?

don't prove me right again.
I wanna be wrong;
I wanna know how it feels;
to really LOVE someone.

take me as I am,
take all of me.

(:

Mak maintain seh!

Today was good,
and I'm so in love with that little kitten tennis BALL!

met mami,
for dinner like finally,
and I had my hungry mode on,
ordered Beef Hor Fun at City Plaza (y)
mami had her Beef Fried Rice.

and took 980 back home.
that's about it.

Tomorrow;
I'll be home the WHOLE day.
LOOKS like it's time to CLEAN HOUSE!

and I'm so gonna bulk my macbook with reggaeton songs,
and WORK THAT BOOTY SHAKE!

it's good workout.
I'm bored,
I'm lost,
I'm confused,
and I'm utterly cranky.

I hate being like this!
ARGH!

tuesdays!
punch the shit out of the PADS!

SING. SANG. SUNG.

I'll give my best at everything.
I'm not perfect.
Keep reminding myself that,
I'm not perfect.

Why?

I'd never understand this life,
In every single thing I do lies a sin,
then what is the point of always trying to do the right thing.

People look at us and say,
look at them,
they have sinned,
for have you not sinned in your younger days?

We're all sinners,
and sometimes always trying to just do the right thing gets too tiring,
and yet i strive for it.

I feel like a hypocrite,
I'm doing and trying to do the right things,
yet still i sin in so many other ways.

So tell me what's the point of living life,
If everything done is wrong,
and is a sin,
then I'd rather choose not to live.

I'm sick,
sick of living up to it,
it gets tiring,
and all that I do;

Is just plain wrong.

why?

I just want to be plain,
simple, pure and clean.

I hate my past,
and I fear my future.

I'm nowhere.
I'm lost.

No one knows the full story,
People who knew just nodded their head
and told me to move on;

but you don't know,
how dirty I feel,
how burdened I am with the past sins.

and i fear,
i fear it all.

I'm a lost soul.

My everything.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you, cause I know that you feel me somehow."

You could be my everything,
I could be your only one.
You've been my wonderwall lately,
and I can't shun away this feelings.

It creeps slowly into,
that little hole in my heart,
slowly,
the numbness fades.

I could be your forever,
we could end whenever;
when all the uncertainties lie ahead,
will you pull through?

What would it mean to you if,
I'd say I love you;

Would you play a little game with me;
then leave me hanging;
would you respect a sacred thing;
Love?

Fleet of emotions;
they lose sense of all control.
Lovers lay down;
ashamed of a sin untold.

Will my past unfold?
Or is this finally what I've been looking for?
Is this finally what you have been looking for?
is this love?

Lose sense of rationality,
But I shall have to pull through,
our rationality is all we have to sanity.
You and I know.

You've been one of the best things that has happened to me,
I'll say it sincerely,
You are the best thing that has happened to me.

I meant all the things that I have said,
and will you mean yours?
I know you will.

Time leaves us hanging,
Love has its ways,
But Faith in all that happens
that Fate will redeem itself.

It shall keep us strong,
it shall keep our broken-hearts strong.

Yang Benar,
~ sabiruna.

i miss you.

(: Hey Apek I miss ya alot!!! ((:

Was bored and I started to listen to Broery Marantika. My Top Two Fave!

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Tertulislah kisah, tentang bunga mawar
Di tengah belukar yang penuh dengan duri
Semerbak harumnya yang tiada tara
Siapapun ingin memetik bunga itu

Banyaklah kumbang datang ingin menghisap madunya
Aduh sayang
Banyak kumbang yang mati karena tertusuk duri
Aduh sayang

Kau memberi hati kepada diriku
Seluruh hidupku, kudambakan padamu
Tak kusangka sangka bukan hanya daku
Mendapat kasihmu membuat hati luka

Mawar berduri, kini kupergi
Dengan membawa luka di hati
Mawar berduri, cukup sekali
Kau melukai hatiku, hatiku

And Top Favourite:

Jangan Ada Dusta Antara Kita

Ketika pertama kujumpa denganmu
Bukankah pernah kutanyakan padamu, kasih:
Tak kan kecewakah kau pada diriku?
Tak kan menyesalkah kau hidup denganku nanti?

Memang kau bukan yang pertama bagiku
Pernah satu hati mengisi hidupku dulu
Kini semua kau katakan padaku
Jangan ada dusta di antara kita, kasih~~

Semua terserah padamu, aku begini adanya
Kuhormati keputusanmu, apapun yang akan kau katakan,
Sebelum terlanjur kita jauh melangkah,
kau katakan saja

EVERYTHING WILL FALL IN PLACE SABI TELL YOURSELF THAT SABI;
EVERYTHING WILL FALL IN PLACE.

Mrs Emo Whiterobe

1st October 2009

Mrs Emo Whiterobe.

Met up with Ah Pek again(: So we met at Causeway Point; when Apek said “Lets just walk around to look for shades.” What I heard was, “Lets just walk around to look for shytes” LOL!! Damn. I’m still as blur as always I guess.

And Apek’s bicycle was still in the repair shop, cause it’s “chains got a little rusty”. HAHA! Finally at John Little, we found shades, and I agree with you Apek, policemen shades don’t go with YA! You know, you know why?? Cause you gotta get the ones with a thick gold frame (y). AND finally decided that the brown one went better with Apek, my reason; it suits Apek’s skin tone and hair colour and Apek was like “Ouh so if I were to dye my hair silver I can pull off this chrome one la!” HAHA, tsk at you Apek.

Finally started our “emo” conversations at some random block! Talked and Talked. I think I talk too much. And I cracked up about the “BJ” thing haha BJ in Apek terms is “Bau Jantan” something like Guys BO. HAH again I was blur for a moment.

Then we took the bus 961 to Ngee Ann. It was SUPER fast! I’m going to take that bus to school once school re-opens. And Apek was like “public” *sighs . What to do he misses his bicycle, he cycles everyway so without it he kinda feels “BANG BANG BANG TREET CHING!”

When we reached NP Apek headed out into the wilderness of NP. Nowhere to be seen at all! And as I was about to climb the stairs to the Muay Thai clubhouse, I saw FIANY!!! HIPPY BABE I SO MISS YA!!!! Ran up and she went up the granstand steps and we were like HUGGING AND SCREAMING AND JUMPING AROUND! BABE so glad to see you again I swear(:

Training killer today! I’ve never perspired like that before till now, my sweat looked like tears rolling down my cheeks! HAHA. And after so long FINALLY I SPARRED! Fiany babe is so fierce with her kicks, KILLER. I love your knees and whip kicks): I suck at this. MY legs are just so LAZY! Damn. TRAIN SABI TRAIN!!!

After which I said my goodbyes, Yuan Xi, Han and Saunders. Asked if we were going off or?? I said someone’s waiting and they were like guy or girl?? And I said guy they were like OOOHHHH, BF arh?? LOL! Funny guys can’t wait to see you guys on Tuesday again! Whoopie Doo!

Hugged Fiany goodbye and Apek appeared from the wilderness of NP! Took 52 to Bishan, MCDONALDS MCDONALDS! Hahaha, I was super hungry, but once I got the McChicken in with a dose of fries I was damn full, super duper full. Despite the fact that I am pretty much a big eater, I’ve just been losing my appetite lately, no idea why. Met Apek’s bicycle friends, they were super friendly really easy going(:

And how the day ended: I headed home on the mrt bumped into Azuwan (I think it’s spelt that way) in the mrt, wave and said hello. AND headed HOME! Mrs Emo Whiterobe was really silent that night, and Apek is happy about his repaired bicycle. And I “so don’t miss this apek”. (:
Thanks for the lovely day. And don’t emo else do the 10seconds thing and then do your psychopath smile! I know there’s a lot of stuff running through that mind of yours. You don’t say nor show but I’ll always know. Just like that crush thing I was talking about! Haha!

I’m falling again, and I fear much too much, I don’t want anything to crumble it’s beautiful just the way it is already. I hope you know. A risk I could take but wouldn’t want to take for nothing is permanent and everything just fades away eventually. Yet it’s all coming back to me, like poison it creeps slowly into this heart. And I can’t ignore it. For you and I know; or maybe it’s just me? Yet I’ve grown so numb the feelings seemed to have toned down, it’s under control and I can’t let my heart in. I can’t despite the fact that I want to. I’m tied down, my hands are tied down to this fate and I’m bound in a bed of roses; beautiful yet wincing from its thorns.

You know you’ll always have me when you need an intellectual conversation; a psychopathic day, someone to cheer each other up, 10 seconds to emo with, a smoking kaki, someone to tease you and threatens to trying her combos on you, someone to accommodate Mrs Emo Whiterobe in the middle on the night on T days, someone just to be there for you. (:

“Taking life so easy from here, I’m here. It’s all up in arms, and something will never change, but I’m okay”.

~ Yang Benar,
Sabiruna.

Abstinence.

Maybe I could possess someone's heart,
take a trip in his shoes and he takes a trip in mind;
I'll read your mind;
you read mine.

I'm talking about abstinence.
Would a guy who really loves a girl wait forever just to hold her hand?
To feel the warmth of an embrace.
The sweetness of a sinful kiss.
The bliss when you're touched.

Would he wait if she insisted?
When It all comes down to just a fleet of emotions;
It'd be inevitable.
But would he wait?

Would he?

I still don't understand till now why it's so hard to love without touch):
It's upsetting.

Could I do with no shoulder to lean on,
No smile to look forward to?
No silly antics?

Hey foolish foolish girl don't you crumble,
stay strong and time will tell(:

Running in circles chasing our tails; rationality got the better of me.

29th September 2009 (CARAMEL AND SUGAR RUSH and BROMANCES!)

Today has been a blast, I shall have to agree with the fact that
I do have a serious deal of a really damaged body clock but
I’m loving every moment of this sanity yet behind it;
I still hold on to my rationality and sanity.
Muay Thai was awesome today. WE were taught by the thai coach today;
he has had like 41 years of experience started when he was just 10!
LIKE WOW!

And I like him a lot he has kind eyes, very humble and he’s sincere
hahaha and he laughs when I did silly mistakes nice guy(:
despite the fact he speaks no English it was easy to understand him and
he’d say muay thai a lot(:
AWESOME combos and the four basic blocks to a kick,
and ELBOWS baby yes loads of them YEEHA!

And a last minute proposition by this “apek”
hahaha headed to Starbucks, which was seriously my first time.
AND THE COFFEE THERE IS AWESOME.
My ouh my and I agree with ya old man CARAMEL is OH LA LA!
Sat down and had a really good conversation.
I really do love intellectual conversations(:
And I love the cold night wind brushing past so quickly
haha and the turns!
Woohoo I wonder how 100kph would feel like(:
And a trip home(:

Aww I simply loved today really.
And, not bad for a first timer yeah?

On a serious note, Life has been good and
I do pray that it will remain the way it is.

Mami actually waited for me to get home to actually massage her head(:
She said she’d managed to sleep well last night after I massaged her head yesterday. Alhamdulilaah.
I do hope she’ll sleep well tonight despite the fact that
this crazy thing is starting to cry outside of my house again. SHEESH!
And I so miss Shisha.
I miss my girls too.
Miss their girlishness and how they go eeww and call me mother chicken(:
Haiz. But I really enjoyed today a lot, after such a long time.

Thank you, I really appreciated it. And I swear I almost cried when I’d listen to ya story,
I just held it back and I swear despite the fact you had twitching eye brows I saw the sorrow in you eyes. Take it easy Okay dude. Life and love has it’s ways but it will all be good soon
InsyaAllah(:

NEW WORD LEARNT YO!
BROMANCE!!! LOL!

Yes crazy thing outside has SHUT UP! Maybe I should join it with a crew cut and a white flowy dress I’ll go up to any dude and say in my gayest voice, “BANG! NAK VOGE” muahaha!


“Ya Allah sensungguhnya Engkaulah yang menentukan segalanya.”

Ponder.

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you

Walk my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
All be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Looking shit through each other's eyes

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has a private world
Where they can be alone... sOoOoo
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through OoOo
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you sOoOoo Oo Oo

Only one?

"I'll sing it one last time for you,
if you really have to go."

pardon my disappearance from the surface of this web page,
my days have been fine so far,
I have been blessed with a group of fun loving people.

Recently I've lost my soul again,
something from the past has come back to haunt me,
seizing its chances upon me,
But I won't let it in,
for I no longer know how to love,
and I fear this word much too much.

I've had visions of you endlessly,
to top it all that bad dream wasn't a great help at all.
I won't even know why I still care nor bother,
Despite the cold harsh fact
that I am no longer part of you.

You've moved on so quickly,
It's just a shock to me.
and it has scarred me.

Ouh foolishness spare me this time round,
I'm neither looking for love nor sympathy,
I just want to lead a normal ordinary life,
I'm just out to achieve my goals.

It's not healthy,
but I've gone strong,
I no longer tear on the thought of you,
yet I shan't deny the fact that my heart aches
each time it hears your name.

a thousand lies has made it colder; but I'll still look at things the same way I did before.

-sabiruna.

By END october.

I've made a desicion,
yes I am going to move on,
no i won't forget,
never will forget all your EMPTY promises,
the fact that you were so heartless,
but i guess you've made me strong,
yes I will get my stuff back,
rest assure after which I shan't bother you no more.

But sure thing is I will forever miss your family,
Here I've lost a woman whom I treated just like my mum,
and a lil kid just like my lil bro.
But this is life and I can't,
I just can't live in this foolishness.

For I know,
you'd never meant anything you said,
yet if you did then it's your choice.

Why live in uncertainty when I can be certain,
when I can assure everything around me.
Yes we may not know what the future has install for all of us,
but I'm sure we can all take charge of what is before us now.

Call it selfish,
me breaking an oath;
yet then again to come to think of it;
who broke it in the first place?

you could have it all back but you chose not to.
doesn't it speak for everything already.

Yeah trying to be rationale here,
my hearts' been messing with my mind.
but sometimes we just have to be a little bit heartless.

you know what is best for oneself.
you know.

and this month has been a failure,
but im as determined as ever now.

yes.
this thing it is for sure.

goodbye my sorrows,
for the stars they no longer shine for you.

I've never given up on this love.
never.

by end october,
Im gonna get my hair boy short again,
yes.
cause i love my hair short. (full stop)

SENIOR SPECIALIST COURSE(:

SSC WEST/SEA AND CENTRAL ROCKED.
staying in HQ for a week,
I couldn't have asked for more,
yeah I did get homesick for the first time;
but I was more then glad to be down there.

Many a times I've told myself no more NCC for me,
but I just can't just hold back,
I love NCC way too much,
I love teaching cadets,
passing on the knowledge I have.

And I guess I will never enjoy the past as an OIC or 2IC,
I'm more of a PC or section commander.
It was fun;
and musical chairs aren't lame cause my dear 15 year old cadets enjoyed it(:
and let me tell you a bunch of 15 year old boys can be so cheeky.
HAHA!

ok my dear kids/ cadets here's the command list I promised(:

Advanced Foot Drills

Getting on Parade.
Kanan Penanda Masuk Baris.
Pelatun Masuk Baris.

Formation of Squad.
Pelatun Sedia.

Barisan di hadapan DIAM.
Barisan Tengah kanan pusing.
Barisan Belakang kiri pusing.
Kekanan dan Kekiri PUSING.

Barisan Tengah Kiri Belok.
Barisan Belakang Kanan Belok.
Dari depan cepat JALAN.

Hentak kaki cepat hentak.
Berhenti.

Barisan Tengah Separuh Kiri,
Barisan Belakang Separuh Kanan,
Separuh kiri dan kanan PUSING.

Pelatun SENANG DIRI.


From QUICK time to SLOW time march
Tukar Langkah Pelahan Jalan, 1..2..3..4.. Ja...Lan.
(command falls on left foot)

From SLOW time to QUICK time march.
Tukar Langkah Cepat Jalan, 1..2..3..4.. Ja...Lan.
(command falls of left foot)

Hentak Kaki (Mark Time) in SLOW TIME.
Hentak kaki cepat hentak.
(command is the same instead mark time/ hentak kaki will have a slower timing)

Advance Arms Drill.

Tatang Senjata (Port Arms)
Bimbit Senjata ( Trail Arms)
Kaleh Senjata ( Switch side in which you are holding your rifle)
Baring Senjata (Lie the rifle on the ground)
Angkat Senjata ( Pick up Rifle).

For all the commands above all you have to do is add it into this standard command,
Pelatun ___________ .
e.g. Pelatun Tatang senjata.

Teaching in Stages.

For Arms Drills;
Latihan Senjata Dengan Nombor e.g Rusuk Senjata Skuad satu, Skuad 2...

For Footdrills.

May vary.

e.g. Pusing Belakang dengan nombor kebelakang pusing skuad satu, skuad dua..
Pusing Kiri dengan nombor Kekiri pusing, Skuad satu...

so yeah(:
If there's anything that I've missed out please forgive me(:
Do leave a tag on my tagboard and I will try my best to help you out ok.

Was typing this out solely on memory,
Left the list in my locker-.-

AND I MISS YOU GUYS!!
(:

untitled.

Too many a days have i sat,
pondering on what is the unknown.
Uncertainties lie ahead on this long foggy road.

I walked on,
Venturing into the unknown,
I took my chances.

And today I shall say I'll never regret all of it.
I've made my mistakes,
and now I move on.

Not forgetting the past,
I take it everywhere I go and I learn.
Found the rationality in the irrationality.

I'm my only guide.

" tell me you love me. come back and haunt me;
running in circles; chasing tails;
coming back as we are."

~ when life gets harder along the way; we just feel like giving up; but it's the hope- I'm taking all the chances and I'll never regret this. I'm here. I'll wait.

So Far.

300809 (SUNDAY)
was pretty much a usual day;
and sadly i can't fast;
cause Mrs Red decided to pay me a visit in the most inconvenient time.
Boo you Mrs Red.
And I hate it,
cause as crazy as this may sound;
I can't live a day without my prayers.
I need to pray to stay sane!

Papa's off day;
Siblings and I were all at home slacking,
and papa said come on let's get ready;
We're breaking our fast at nenek's house today(:
and impromptu!
the house filled with loud YAYs!

So helped out with packing up of all the food,
and got ready;
On a yearly basis;
I only get to meet my nenek once every year.
So this was indeed a rare occasion for us.

We met mami at her work place in paya lebar;
and bused to eunos/ marine parade.
HEE!
and when we reached nenek's house she was so happy to see us(:
Even atuk (my step grandpa)
was really glad to see us.

And nenek asked how old I am,
and told my mum usually an 18 year old would have already been engaged.
LOL(:

after buka sat down,
and suddenly nenek ask whether we want to karaoke((:
and alamak the songs were all DANGDUT!
so since I knew a few songs I sang,
and so did rizqina.

and nenek songs very well!
and so papa did sing too.
it was great to see papa bonding with nenek;
cause in his childhood days he'd never felt the love of a mother;
cause arwah atuk took care of him and his siblings when nenek divorced him.

But it's great to see what forgiveness can do;
and it's true no one could say no to a mother's love.
Day ended with goodbyes and a long journey home on the bus 980.

310809 (Monday)

I couldn't sleep at all so I decided to cook sahur,
eggs were a success but the sausages were a little bit burnt):
But it felt great cooking for the family.
CAUSE I LOVE COOKING (L).
and papa said;

"Why burnt?? You were singing whilst cooking is it? That's why; the song haven't finish sausage cook already but cannot take out."

papa, papa;
still the same;
you said that when you met mami for the very first time and had dinner
at her aunts house;
papa commented:
"Hmph ikan hangus."

haha!
guess once a papa will always stay a papa(:

"Time will tell"

~ sabiruna.

Ya Allah,
Give me the strength to go through my everyday life, give me reason to live and smile and bring joy to the people around me. Give me the patience and a calm mind to understand. Give me faith and hope in what is uncertain for only You know mine and his fate.

Amin.

RAMADHAN; so far- patience

First day was a piece of cake,
Second day wasn't too bad,
Third day somehow it became a little bit harder,
and now sometimes my patience run low.

I disgust myself,
thinking about all the stuff I've done in the past,
the sins I've created.

But I know it's only humane.
I admit; I am a sinner,
and sometimes doing the right thing isn't always easy.

These few days,
I did have times where I just wanted to scream out
all the vulgarities I knew in my dictionary,
However I'd mange to hold back,
I took a deep breathe and told myself it wasn't worth it.

And I actually feel better.
I guess it is satisfying knowing that
you can have self control.

But these few days,
I've been running real low on motivation,
and yeah I'd have a lot of regrets.

Just when I thought it'd all been over,
it comes back to haunt me.
Lesson learnt.

Whatever you do,
however you avoid it,
the past will somehow creep right back in at you.

It's sober me up,
made me much more aware,
that whatever you did then,
done today and will do tomorrow,

someone will remember,
forgiving is always simple,
yet to forget is a whole other story.

so now i shall have to re-look at my schedule,
yes siree,
I still haven't terawih with lala and reen,
and go cook at lala's house with reen for buka.
soon ok girls!

Let tomorrow be a new day,
where I hold no grudges,
Where I smile with a sincere heart
and love with truth.

Where all those around me shall be treasured;
though matter how sometimes they'd irritate me.
Learn to smile and not cry,
and laugh and live life;
with faith and full of passion.

Let the zeal within me shine,

As-Sabirun

I found this interesting article from http://www.mysisterskeeper.com/beautifulnaseehah.html
to my muslim friends enjoy(:

parts from the article;

1)As a Muslimin/Muslimah you should have the understanding that if Allah intends good for you, you will be afflicted with hardship so that you may return to Allah with little sin. The Prophet (S) said,

"Anyone for whom Allah intends good, He makes him to suffer from some affliction." Sahih Al-Bukhari.

So affliction ( something that causes pain or suffering) should not be viewed as some horrible thing that has no good in it but trouble.

*2) You must bear whatever Allah is testing you with, with patience. This is so important to your mindset and your emotional stability. Allah says,

"O you who believe! Endure and be more patient..."(3:200)

And

"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient)." (2:155)

And

"Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning." (39:10)

And

"And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah." (42:43)

And

"Seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer). Truly, Allah is with As-Sabirun (the patient)." (2:153)

3) Do not forget Allah's mercy upon you.

4) Whatever your test is you can bear it with dignity and patience. Allah is fully aware of your capabilities and what you are able to take.

5) Lift that depressed heart and turn to Allah in ibaadah and good deeds. Seek the means to Allah's Mercy by increasing your good deeds. Don't forget the small kindnesses to your children, your neighbors, your friends, and family. Seek to give in charity, feed a poor person, offer your home for a halaqa, offer to teach someones children Qur'an, etc. Seek to increase your Ibaadah (worship) of Allah. Your Sunnah, your nawaafil, and most importantly the Ihsaan (praying as if you see Allah) of your Fard. With the increase of good deeds in your life you will feel the increase is Emaan.

I'm stil learning too. I just thought it'd be good to share this article(:

May we learn to be one of the As-Sabiruna during this holy month. InsyaAllah.

Amin.

2pm!

I WOKE UP AT 1.40PM TODAY!
ohmygoodness.
That's terrible.

I've missed subuh again-.-
and I'd better pray my zuhur,
after I've finished blogging.

So what's going on today??
Imma go accompany mami back from work,
bus back with her,
break fast at home,
maghrib,
and I feel like going to the yishun masjid to pray,
if time abides,
if not, then I'll go to Asyaafaah(:

Funny thing is I was supposed to be down at HQ,
to help out with admin work.
But then sabiruna overslept so now she can't go.

Im still thinking whether I should pray asar in Asyafaah,
just worried if there won't be enough time for me to go get mami.

Yeah i didnt sleep the whole night till sahur which was at about, 4.15am.
Then I just landed on my bed(:

Anyway, reason why Im blogging,
I actually wanted to just say,
being alone isn't so bad now,

I mean yes it'd be better if you have someone there for you,
But still it's the only way I'd learn to be self-sufficient,
Papa always told me, "Learn to be alone"
Now i get what he means.

He didnt mean alone, alone..

so here I am standing on both my feet (not literally though),
facing the world(:
I may be alone physically, mentally and all,
yet I'm never alone.

Yalli Nassini Ya Habib.

~Sabiruna

Secret of Ramadhan

Papa talked about it (referring to post title) today whilst walking home after Terawih today.
We both apparently wore green today(:
haha!
Yes I wore a jubah, man they're the most comfortable attire to Pray 23 rakaat-s in(:

Was late for Isya' so as soon as I set foot into the Masjid,
I prayed Isya' and Terawih started(:
Somehow I can't explain this feeling,
when I'm praying it's just really peaceful.

As usual,
I can't stand silence so started bombarding my Papa with questions.
Papa tells me that if I wanna drink at least stop to drink,
cause;
By right Sunnah Nabi S.A.W,
when we eat or drink we should sit.

After stopping to finish our water in the plastic cups,
papa just threw the cup into the bushes,
and I yelled "PAPA! You know I don't like it when someone litters!"

Then papa started talking about niat.
It was really interesting.

E.g. You have a one dollar coin, your niat is to donat it to the masjid whilst walking home you encounter a beggar. Do you give your coin?? By right you shouldn't cause you have already niat.
another good example would be, you have $5000, you have already niat to use it to go to Mecca when a desperate relative needs it. In event you gave that money away, an oppurtunity such as that would never come again.

Niat has it's many benefits, say what's the difference if I just drop a $1.oo coin on a beggar's palm or if instead I niat first to give this coin to the beggar and then i give. The difference is the pahala gained. It makes sense just like papa said everything revovles around one's niat, say then why would we have to niat before fasting ans niat before prayers 5 times a day.

Makes sense right?

And as we walked home I asked papa,
"Papa, do you feel sad when you're attending the last terawih of Bulan Ramadhan?"

Papa asked me,
" Why would you feel sad?"

I replied,
"Well, I'd be sad cause Ramadhan is the best month, the only month i get to devote everything."

Then Papa said,

"Let me tell you the Secret of Ramadhan. Take for example the Army, in the first few months they whack you, overtrain you so that you get used to it, it becomes something normal. It's the same for Ramadhan, In a month, you go all out and for the next 11 months you maintain your prayers and all; it may not be of the same standard but you still maintain. If you feel it, learned the secret you'd be happy when Ramadhan comes to an end because you know you have achieved something and you will be looking forward to the next month of Ramadhan. You're sad because you regret on how you have not made the best of Ramadhan, else you'd be happy."


I couldn't help but to agree with Papa even more, see papa said Islam is simple, therefore in a way our lack of knowledge in it makes us think it is difficult, "leceh" but truth is Islam has simplified everything for us,
for our convenience.

InsyaAllah this Ramadhan, it will be a fruitful one for My Family and I and for my friends too.

Amin.

~sabiruna.

TERAWIH!

It feels good to actually complete your prayers for the whole day;
It wasn't impossible(:
Went to accompany mami home,
took the bus 980 and I buka puasa in the bus today,
COOL or what(:
haha!

Then I was in time for TERAWIH!
Saw papa and lil bro waiting at the bus stop,
so waited for the bus with them,
my dad looked at my "attire"
Beige tudung, Flowery Baju kurung top,
and black pants,
He goes " Right nice if you go to school dressed like this, can tackle a guy who will bring you to Mecca not tackle some punk by the way you always dress."
HAHA!
I gave him the, "evil look".

haha but i love it,
the way you see my dad softens,
lembut hati dia pabila liht anak dara dia bertudung(:
LOL!

So rush, rush..
Finished terawih and walked slowly home,
Learned some interesting stuff from papa,
minor stuff bout praying and sunnah Nabi S.A.W.

WENT HOME,
at around 11pm,
showered and finally ate(:

I love the month of Ramadhan,
much,much more than Hari Raya too(:

And I'm amused by it all(:
won't stop laughing at the thought of it.
Reen and Lala,
go out soon okay,
we shall cook in Lala's kitchen,
and I'm looking forward to learning more stuff,
bout Islam itself in this month.

As-Sabirun [who patiently bear whatever may befall them (of calamities);

Wild Horses

Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady you know who I am
You know I cant let you slide through my hands

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldnt drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldnt drag me away

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie
I have my freedom but I dont have much time
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried
Lets do some living after we die

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day

take control

i had enough of all my foolish lies,
all my false pretense,
it's frustrating,
and im over with blogging,

im just gonna write in a diary,
it'd be better.

goodbye.

let the eyes talk

Look me in my eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore.
I see it in your eyes,
that very soul i knew and still know.

A lot has happened lately.

sometimes too much,
but im staying strong with faith and the love of my family.
it's hard having to live life just like how it is.
but it's also hard for the other person,
no one has had it easy,
and it's a challenge we face.


to be continued...

firstly, i would love to run to my mami and hug her to cry now.
i respect the decision made,
and i understand fully.

it's just a phase of time i shall have to go through.
and though i know of a lot of stuff,
i still see you as the same sincere person i know.

at least now i'm clear,
i know where i stand,
as compared to before,
left hanging.

thank you for the time,
it was really really really good to hear that voice again.
just know that when you need a friend for just about anything,
i'm here.

love,
sabiruna

hey girl its ya birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!
RIZQINA!
thank you so much for all the times you've been there for me,
and i really would like to apologise if ive not been the best sister you'd have,
sometimes things inside of me just cause a malfunction.

just know that i'm always here for you.
i will see you in the morning:)

LIL CHICKA!

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY SAYANG<3

MUAY THAI MADNESS!

I've got a confession to make!

I AM ADDICTED TO MUAY THAI!
very; to be precise,
a day without it it,
just feels so wrong.

and i have to skip, skip, skip,
run,run,run
jab,jab,jab
cross, cross, cross
kick, kick, kick
train,train,train.

yes.
im hooked to it.

and ALHAMDULILAAH,
i passed grading today.
i wasnt even taking it,
my intention was to go there to train.
i said a prayer as i was about to take the grading session.

suddenly Yuan Xi says "eh why you here?"
i was like im not taking grading what.
then he said aiyah just go, i pay already.
then i was no i dont think i can pass,
he said, you can one.

AND ALHAMDULILAAH,
i passed.

i didnt expect it,
but my stance needs improvement,
i keep losing my stance when i move.
working on it.

thank you so much Yuan Xi,
i really appreciate it.

i miss hardcore training!
i want HARDCORE!
yes siree.

CONGRATULATIONS to all my lovelies;
for passing your grading-
muay thai buddy buddy, my brothers and girlbros:)
YOU GUYS ARE LOVELY!

and it was nice to see you guys again,
cause i dont go on tuesdays,
and it's not often i get to see you guys.
esp justin kor kor, terrence and kp:)

and for you dear ones who have to try one more time,
ITS OKAY!
take care okay and all the best.
you guys are superb in every way,
give your best for the last;
if you put your heart and mind into it you'll do it,
especially KIRA BRO!
aites.

when the thai coach i think,
tied the pra jiad to my arm,
i felt something surge up,
one step at a time.

i placed my palms together and bow to say thank you.
i actually like him a lot, he will always correct my mistakes,
and somehow i feel as though,
he knows more of me then meets the eyes.
yeah.

yeap i may not be the best now,
but im working on it.
slowly i will learn and staying humble is KEY!

i will learn and train with much devotion,
and stay humble in every way,
always willing to learn.

i guess that is muay thai,
you see,
it's not all about hitting and hurting,
it's discipline,
devotion,
hard work,
failures and successes,
humble,
it really is beautiful.

my parents didnt say much about it,
they didnt congratulate me also,
i guess they're not really liking the idea of me doing muay thai.

but i understand,
but this is what i love,
and i will work on it.

and i don't give up things and people i love.

Coach Darren- some people gets it easy whilst some gets it harder. It doesn't matter the number of times you fall, but the number of times you get up each time you fall.

to you.

dearest you know who,

Somedays I sit around thinking. if only you'd tell me your problems, and let me be there for you for once. sometimes i wish you'd let me be the one to listen. i really hope you do read this. Though the chances are slim, i really do hope you do, i would love to sit and listen to you. Listen to every single thing that has been going on in your mind, heart and soul. sometimes i wish you'd take me into a deeper conversation, because it hurts me a lot to see you this way. you're not the same person i knew, you're just laughing things off and smiling but you know deep down inside you're still hurting maybe i am wrong, but something inside of me is telling me to reach out to you. Reach out. I know you're strong but i want to be there for you even though if you're not needing me now.

Ya Allah tabahkanlah hati hambaMu ini dan juga hatinya.

~sabiruna

who am i?

in the constant quest of getting to know myself better i tool this personality quiz.

here's the url; http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

DONT SPEAK

firstly i'd like to say that im fucking confuse with every single thing,
thing is you told me to forget him,
and you refer to him as my boyfriend and then you go tell your friend i've got a boyfriend,
when YOU in the first place STOPPED our relationship.

so just STOP talking about him,
you're making things worst,
what do you know,
you dont know that he has a new gf,
the fact that he ignores me,
left me hanging here.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
and why am i foolish enough,
not disclosing the truth to you,
that he has a new gf,
cause i know it wont make the situation better,
you'd just find all kinds of things to comment.

SO JUST STOP!
cause you're not making things easier and he is not my bf,
CAUSE YOU DIDNT WANT HIM TO BE.

and you,
you should know better,
i guess its all a huge misunderstanding,
my parents never forbade us from meeting,
from going out,
all they forbade was a relationship.
that's all,
and who said that i wanted to end it all,

you said nothing and you just left.

and for me ive got nothing else to say im just stuck.

Always For You

You were drowning
and I picked you up and set you free
I was fading
and you breathed the life back into me
can I be sure this is what I've been looking for

'cause I'm dying to meet you
and I'm trying to reach you
as of yet we've not met
but I'm here waiting always for you

you were trembling
and I held your hand so close to me
and I was crying
and you whispered that you'd rescued me
I planned a day when I see you come my way

'cause I'm dying to meet you
and I'm trying to reach you
as of yet we've not met
but I'm here waiting always for you

I can't wait to sleep so I can always see your face
and I hate to wake up 'cause you're gone without a trace

can I be sure this is what I've been looking for

'cause I'm dying to meet you
and I'm trying to reach you
as of yet we've not met
but I'm here waiting always

yeah I'm dying to meet you
and I'm trying to reach you
as of yet we've not met
but I'm here waiting always for you

focus!

1. get a job.
2. hardcore during muay thai trainings.
3. prove to yourself you're stronger then you think you are.

Last

I solemly swear i will stick to my goals from now on,
no more straying from them.
I SWEAR!!!!

COME ON SABI FOCUS!!!!

Love is a losing game.

For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game

One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand
Love is a losing hand

Self professed... profound
Till the chips were down
...know you're a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Though I'm rather blind
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

The Hopeless Romantic

She stays awake every night,
how silly of her as she sits in front of the laptop,
crying her eyes out every single night,
she moves on but the hurt still stays,
she knows it's not healthy,
but she's just a hopeless romantic.

Love; so sacred in her eyes,
she loves him dearly,
so much it drives her crazy, mad and selfish.
she tries to smile and carry on,
she does,
but when the night falls,
when all is silent and dark,
when others lay to rest,
she stays awake,
again weak and crying.

no use crying over split milk,
yet she cries.
cries.
and cries.

there will be no cure,
no cure for this hurt,
for she knows she will never forget him.
never.
and she sits still in the midst of her prayers.
breaking down every now and then.

for she is a hopeless romantic, for love is sacred for her.

neither here nor there

im like a broken-stringed kite
floating aimlessly in the wind,
im a fleeting form of emotions
for i know i'd never touch solid ground.

i long for that one moment,
where my owner would pull back on my string,
nail me to the ground,
where i soar and fly,
safe and protected.

now im out,
for the adventure of my life,
aimless,
yet somehow deep down im yearning,
for those goals,
for that hand.

I'm soaring,
free and independent,
out to face the cold harsh world,
one cold night i was hit by a storm,
the wind merciless,
leaving me cold and wet; the rain.

then i bumped into all types of kites,
they had lost their owners too,
and each and every one of them had a tale to tell.

a tale sadder then mine,
a tale of difficulties, embarrassment, rejection, failure.
every kite had a tale to tell.

so i sat and listen,
deep in thoughts,
yet i pushed my tales aside,
eager to listen and sympathize.

then i went away with the wind again,
alone.
solitary, my best companion.

for in these solitary moments,
my thoughts are my entertainment.
im learning and adapting to this solitary life.

this kite will keep on soaring in this sky,
till one day either it breaks or it's owner pulls back on it's string.

smile.

i just realised that i get a lot of ideas when im on the mrt train.
was on the way to bukit batok today and i had my draft one with me.
it's grade B+.
I WANT MY A!!
so i read the comments,
and presto i was re-editing everything,
the ideas just flowed in!
i officially love MRT trips well only when it is less crowded,
cause honestly i hate it when I've got to squeeze and parts and bits of me
which unfortunately aren't the smallest things in the world,
bumping into elbows!
irritating that's why i love backpacks and a laptop bag.
my front and back MRT armour(:
ouh and i always imagine being the so called "hero",
each seat i sit on,
im actually like reserving for those who need it,
cause you betcha if i see someone who needs to sit,
i'd give it to them,
no hesitation(:

today has been an okay day.
wasn't bad though.
went out and home.
and mami called asking whether i wanted to follow her to the masjid to pray isyak'
and i went YES SIREE!

wowwee it's been a long time since ive set foot in this masjid,
it was nice.
there were two lil girls in silat gear,
haha then when we had to "rapatkan saf"
i gently held her hand and brought her close to my side,
she looked at me(:
haha!
real cute la the two of them.

then there was this lil girl she hid at the pillar and observed me(:
then when i looked at her she hid again.
just wanted to pinch her chubby whubby cheeks!
and tmr's menu will be sambal sardine spaghetti!
woots mami read my mind i guess(:

i can't wait for bulan ramadhan really can't(:

"this is my life and these are my choices"
-sabiruna

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ENCIK MUHAMMAD REDZUAN BIN ABDULAH!!

19 years old already aye!

may Allah bestow upon you health.
and may there be many more birthdays.
May you be blessed with a bright future and happiness,
where your days are filled with laughter and smiles.
Amin.

enjoy your teen year cause soon you're gonna be twenty GRUMPY OLD MAN!

"smile and carry on."
-sabiruna<3